i have met a girl in college where we have become attached to each other [just talking] we are both muslims. i know this is wrong, but she has been forced into accepting a arranged marriage unfairly [not married or engaged yet] she does not want to marry the other person. i was very confused on what to do, whether to walk away or ask her father for my proposal into marriage. i performed istikaharra and my heart has such a desire to be with her, and my dreams in my interpretation; seem as though i should be with her. i know that in the society where i live if i ignore this girl, i will fall into a trap and become involved in bad practices e.g raving, meeting other girls etc – this is becoming more normal in england now, but the girl is a good muslim. i don’t understand why i have a desire to be with marry her as i did a wrong thing whereby i had a relationship. what should i trust do i have the right to make dua to marry her?
Assalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuhu
It is our Imaan that Taqdeer (destiny) will take its course. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said that Allah Ta’ala says, ?O man, you intend something and I intend something (but what transpires at the end of the day) is what I intend.?
No one has the knowledge of the future, what would transpire and who would be your wife. Therefore, it is Haraam for one to love, talk, fantasise or entertain thoughts of a non-Mahram woman. Talking with a non-Mahram woman is just like committing Zina (adultery) with the tongue. May Allah Ta’ala forbid, if one dies with the love of a non-Mahram woman in his heart, he will be answerable and may be taken to task for it as well. It is also possible that the woman you love marries someone else, you would then find yourself having intercourse with your wife whilst fantasising over the woman who you have Haraam love for. Instead of being rewarded, you will get the sin of committing Zina. Furthermore, the Haraam love will result in you developing hatred and dislike for your wife. You would argue and quarrel over trivial matters and find faults in everything she does. Therefore, our advise to you is to sincerely repent to Allah for your past misdeed and totally cut off all relationship with this girl. Keep the company of the righteous and pious through which you will be saved from the evils mentioned in your query.
We suggest that let time take its course. Only if she rejects the proposal of that boy, then you may propose to her via her parents, etc. If not, make Du’aa unto Allah Ta’ala who knows what is best for us, to grant you a pious, beautiful, soft natured and obedient wife.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai