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What is the appropriate way for proposing to a Christian girl?

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher

Assalamu Alaikum!
I am in need of your help with regard to a problem I am currently facing. There is a girl who used to work in the same workplace where I used to, she is basically christian and she has shown her liking towards me. Because of my islamic appearance I thought she has some interest towards Islam as she knows I used to pray as well. I have a very limited interaction with her and it is pertaining to work most of the time. I do have some liking towards her but I do not want to sacrifice my religion on this.
What I would love to see is if Allah ta’ala made me a means to get her reverted. She must have got some idea as per my understanding that I wish to stick to my religion, but still she is showing me some interest. If I wish to propose to her what is the shariah ruling regarding this matter, I believe she has some inclination towards our religion but she is not a devout christian. If I say to her I would marry you if you revert to Islam, would that be appropriate? Please help me on this. I have not been in any kind of relationship with her, alhamdulillah. If there is no way I can propose to her how should I convey to her that it would not be possible for me to help her out?

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Praise be to Allah.

May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our beloved Messenger.

Dear Brother,

I pray this message finds you well.

For a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman, several conditions must be met:

1. She must be from the People of the Book, i.e., Jewish or Christian.

2. She must believe in a divinely-revealed scripture recognized by Islam.

3. She must be chaste.

4. The man must be positive his children will be raised as Muslims.

Otherwise, such a marriage would be considered sinful and prohibitively disliked.

There is nothing wrong with letting her know that you prefer to marry a Muslim. However, it is completely up to her to decide whether or not she wants to accept Islam.

You can propose to her by talking to her directly, in a respectful manner, or by going to her family (even though this is highly unusual in American culture).

I suggest that you make istikhara, the guidance prayer, before making any decision. You can view the details at http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1056&CATE=4.

For more information, please see the following:

Marrying a Christian Woman & the Question of Children…


May Allah Most High guide you to the decision that is best for your religion.

And Allah knows best.


This answer was indexed from Qibla.com, which used to have a repository of Islamic Q&A answered by various scholars. The website is no longer in existence. It has now been transformed into a learning portal with paid Islamic course offering under the brand of Kiflayn.

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