Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
Assalamu Alaikum!
I am in need of your help with regard to a problem I am currently facing. There is a girl who used to work in the same workplace where I used to, she is basically christian and she has shown her liking towards me. Because of my islamic appearance I thought she has some interest towards Islam as she knows I used to pray as well. I have a very limited interaction with her and it is pertaining to work most of the time. I do have some liking towards her but I do not want to sacrifice my religion on this.
What I would love to see is if Allah ta’ala made me a means to get her reverted. She must have got some idea as per my understanding that I wish to stick to my religion, but still she is showing me some interest. If I wish to propose to her what is the shariah ruling regarding this matter, I believe she has some inclination towards our religion but she is not a devout christian. If I say to her I would marry you if you revert to Islam, would that be appropriate? Please help me on this. I have not been in any kind of relationship with her, alhamdulillah. If there is no way I can propose to her how should I convey to her that it would not be possible for me to help her out?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our beloved Messenger.
Dear Brother,
I pray this message finds you well.
For a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman, several conditions must be met:
1. She must be from the People of the Book, i.e., Jewish or Christian.
2. She must believe in a divinely-revealed scripture recognized by Islam.
3. She must be chaste.
4. The man must be positive his children will be raised as Muslims.
Otherwise, such a marriage would be considered sinful and prohibitively disliked.
There is nothing wrong with letting her know that you prefer to marry a Muslim. However, it is completely up to her to decide whether or not she wants to accept Islam.
You can propose to her by talking to her directly, in a respectful manner, or by going to her family (even though this is highly unusual in American culture).
I suggest that you make istikhara, the guidance prayer, before making any decision. You can view the details at http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1056&CATE=4.
For more information, please see the following:
Marrying a Christian Woman & the Question of Children…
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2377&CATE=10
May Allah Most High guide you to the decision that is best for your religion.
And Allah knows best.