Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Resat
Question:
Assalamu alaikum. Is it okay to tell little white lies to make people feel special? For example, I give a person a gift they love and say, ‘I brought it just for you, even though I just happened to have the gift on hand and didn’t really buy it specifically for them. Would it be halal?
Answer:
Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
I pray you are well.
Lying to make someone feel special is only permitted between spouses and in situations of resolving conflicts between two people – if it is helpful. Otherwise, lying with statements like that is impermissible. (Ghazali, Ihya’ ‘Ulum al Din)
Saying nice things, however, is rooted in the Sunna. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “A beautiful statement is charity.” (Bukhari) Therefore, one should go out of their way to say nice things to people.
You can use general statements that are true, like “It’s good to see you.“ For the gift, you could say it is especially for them or that it will suit them. The point is not flattery; it is to make someone feel good, and that is possible with words that make them feel attention or appreciation has been directed to them.
May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani