Question
Is it permissible to reach out to a person of the opposite gender to seek their forgiveness? Is it permissible to give charity on their behalf as a means of obtaining their forgiveness?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
If contacting a person of the opposite gender does not entail any impermissible actions, cause harm to that person, or make the situation worse – it is permissible to do so. However, one should be very cautious to have proper etiquette when interacting with the opposite gender.
Some Etiquettes
The contact, if not in person, should remain formal and to the point. Thereafter, the contact should cease. If done in person, one should refrain from being in seclusion with them, from physical contact, from looking at parts of their body legally considered nakedness, etc…
Giving Charity
If contacting them is not possible, the scholars have mentioned that one should increase in good deeds in preparation for the possibility that some good deeds may be taken on the Day of Judgment. [Ghazali, Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din]
I have heard some of my teachers advise those who cannot seek forgiveness to do good deeds and donate the reward to that person with the intention that Allah Most High inspires them to forgive.
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani