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Betrayed: Dealing with Infidelity in a Long-Distance Relationship

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: My husband recently visited the United Kingdom where his parents live. He was there for three weeks. On his arrival I happened to find watsapp messages that he had sent to his ex wife. They were explicit. And obviously he was asking her for sex. She in turn was insisting that they must make Nikaah first. When I questioned him he said that he just did it for no particular reason. And he doesn’t like her or want her. I’m so confused and upset and I can’t trust him anymore. Further more he goes to the UK quite often and I won’t know what’s he getting up to there I’m in dire straits. I don’t know what to do. Can I get a fask on these grounds. I really cannot take it anymore. Please help me.


A: I am disturbed to hear of your condition. I make du`aa that Allah Ta’ala remove this difficulty from you and bless you with immense happiness in this world and the next. Aameen.

In the face of the predicament you are in, there are two aspects to understand. The first is your relationship with Allah Ta’ala which is of primary concern. The secondary relationship is that of your husband. I do understand that your relationship with your husband is indeed important but remember that your relationship with Allah Ta’ala is of utmost importance.

Perhaps this difficulty you are experiencing is actually an excuse for you to strengthen your relationship with Allah Ta’ala. Spend more of your time on the musalla making du`aa to Allah Ta’ala and begging Him to assist you in this difficulty. Be punctual on your five daily salaah and obey Allah Ta`ala in every aspect of your life. As far as your husband is concerned, show him the respect he deserves but don’t get consumed in what he is doing. Try to advise him as much as you can and leave the rest to Allah Ta`ala.

Allah Ta’ala in His kindness rewards such women abundantly. There were many women in the past who were greatly oppressed by their husbands but because of their firmness and perseverance, Allah Ta’ala rewarded them with immense rewards. Among the highest ranking women in this world and the hereafter is Hadhrat Aasiya, the wife of Fir`oun. She was oppressed and tortured by Fir`oun but she persevered and remained firm on Islam. As a result, Allah Ta’ala blessed her with such a lofty status that she is ranked among the four highest ranking women in Jannah.

Make a point of reciting the Qur’aan Shareef and making zikr at home. Daily, gather your family and read out some portion from the Fazaa’il-e-A`maal. The recitation of the Qur’aan and noble Ahaadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) will bring about enormous barkat in your home.

Insha Allah there is hope that Allah Ta’ala will open up your husband’s mind and grant him true understanding. May Allah Ta’ala remove your worries and bless you with happiness in this world and the next.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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