Home » Hanafi Fiqh » Muftionline.co.za » My Father’s Obsession with My Clothing: A Struggle with Religious Identity and Abuse

My Father’s Obsession with My Clothing: A Struggle with Religious Identity and Abuse

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: My father complained about this for so long that I would rather ask a person who knows these things. He always says that everything is haraam and wrong in our religion.

I wear hijab and long skirt everyday. My dad has complained to me for a long time about a couple of my friends using pants (their parents know that they wear them of course). It is such a big thing to my father and he always says I’m next. He complains about using even short socks and sometimes he is also violent about it.

I am now in a situation that every morning, evening, night he is waiting for me to start using pants. I’ve never thought in my life that I’d stop wearing hijab or skirt, because my friends don’t wear it but now he is basically ‘helping’ me to refuse to wear it. I know this is wrong what he is doing.

He also complaints about how tight my skirt is or my shirt is too tight to see my shape. I always feel uncomfortable in those situations because I feel that my father shouldn’t look at his child in that way. My mom never talks to me like that. I feel like mothers should talk to their daughters about those things, not dads.

Can you please help me to understand if this whole situation is okay? What should I do? I can’t talk to him about this because he is abusive and he wants to be right every time. I know that I should not talk about my father like this but this is getting out of hand.


A: The clothing of a female should be loose fitting, not transparent and not revealing the shape of the body. When leaving the home the entire body from head to toe should be covered in loose fitting unattractive clothing. You should not obey your parents in matters that go against shariah.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

Read answers with similar topics: