Q: l have a question about my married life.
I was married for 22 years and I have a daughter of 20 years. 8 months ago I got divorced by my husband. For the last 10 years I have been facing all kinds of family problems. He tortured me mentally and didn’t even maintain any physical relations with me for the last 6-7 years. We were living in the same house but separately. He didn’t talk to me or see me for months
3 years ago we were in separated for 1.5 years but for the sake of my daughter I went back to his house.After 2-3 months the situation became the same. I left my job to make him happy. He performed hajj 7 years ago but never performs a single salah. He is extremely bad tempered, uses slang words and still maintains several extra marital affairs. His tendency was to find my faults at any coast and always dominated and insulted me. He couldn’t show his true colour till my mother-in law was alive because she loved me a lot.
I tolerated everything for my daughter with great hope that Allah (SWT) will fix my problem and I always wanted and want the best Judgement from Him. After my divorce I am mentally free now. I firmly believe that Allah has done the best for my daughter and me. My ex-husband has sent my daughter abroad to study as well as to make his way free. None of his family members supported his disdained activity but support me a lot.
My question is that, is my current situation a punishment for me and a reward to him? I tolerated every situation with sabr. If it is a punishment for me then what and how will be my reward be? If it is a reward for my ex husband, what will he get in return?
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)