In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.
Islam is a religion that instructs its followers to be moral and modest and does not allow its followers to tread the path of immorality and immodesty. Allah enjoys on both males and females to restrain their eyes from looking at each other. “Enjoin the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty… Likewise enjoin the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty… (Surah An Nur: 30-31)
Ahadiths on the prohibition of men and women intermingling are many. Jarir ibn Abdullah narrates that I asked the Prophet (sallal lahu alayhi wa sallam) about the sudden glance (that is cast) on the face (of a non-Mahram). He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes. (Muslim, 1015)
Uqba bin Amir narrates that the Prophet (sallal lahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “Beware of entering upon the ladies.” A man from the Ansar said, “Allah’s Apostle! What about the in-laws of the wife?” The Prophet replied, “The in-laws of the wife are death itself.” (Bukhari, Vol 7, 159)
The above verse of the Quran and the Ahadiths of the Prophet (sallal lahu alayhi wa sallam) indicate the importance of observing segregation and to refrain from intermingling. A person is instructed to turn the gaze away when a glance is cast on a non-Mahram accidentally let alone on an arranged meeting.
In another Hadith Ibn Abbas (radi allahu anhu) narrates that … Abu Huraira (radi allahu anhu) narrated from the Prophet (sallal lahu alayhi wa sallam) who said… “The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it.” (Sahih Bukhari: 8.260)
If you really want to marry her, you will need to go about things in a correct manner. You must at once stop all informal communication with her, and seek Allah’s forgiveness if any sins were committed. Thereafter, propose to her in a formal manner, discuss the matter with your and her parents, arrange a meeting to see her (but not in seclusion), and also perform the prayer of guidance (salat al-Istikhara) and ask Allah to guide you. If marriage with her is destined for you, you will marry her; otherwise Allah may well have chosen someone more suitable for you.
Only Allah Knows Best
Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.
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