Salam , I was married last year in June 2008. I had a great life in Canada and after my marriage I moved to Dubai last november … I sold everything here and moved to his home in Dubai. My husband who is from pakistan but lives in Dubai has a servere temper anger problem but a sweet side as well … This is both our second marriage. We have issues like any other couples … But he is very different , open minded ,, great knowledge of islam but he is not in touch with Allah at the moment as his first priority is his work. He has been with many females in the past , very open minded but yet a good person … he did treat me well but the problem is that i always seeked attention from him as his working hours were off such as he works seven days a week and due to stocks markets he brings back work at home till late nighs.. so we hardly had time together…. Now the problem is that one night he was very upset and said talaq three times to me and there was no one else present in the room, just me and him. like I said he has a temper and verbally and physically abused me at times with not the right state of mind…. and he also apologized for it later as he didnt know what he was doing .. and i understand i use to bug him alot to take some time out for me.. and in anger i use to make him insecure that i will leave to canada … which i agree i have my flaws and i seriously worked on it and realised as im not perfect… like i mentioned he knows what he said about talaq as he has great knowledge of islam … but since he has said that i kept quiet and gave him his space and didnt have any physical contact but the problem is that i cant believe that i am divorced becos i am in love with him and willing to change not by force but becos i want too… he has sent me back to canada and im living with my mother … he hasnt told anyone in his family or mine.. it is been a month now .. he wants me to move on with my life … he hasnt called or im not in touch with him … he just keeps beating around the bush that im stubborn and dont understand .. which i really dont.. he said to me that he doesnt want me and i dont understand why becos i am willing to adjust not by force but because i want too … This is the first time since we have been married that he has said talaq straight away 3 times.. i was never unfaithful my heart was true all the time loving him and even now … he called me few days ago to tell me that he is very happy alone and that we are divorced .. basically in less than 5 months of our marriage he thinks he gave me plenty of chances and we should move on right now than later and waste each other time as he feels we are not compatible … But i dont understand what have i done .. i want to make things work… now that he has given me talaq 3 times … I dont wish to marry someone else and have intercourse becos I dont want too at all AND I DONT UNDERSTAND why am i being punished by doing so … I just to re marry my current husband who i love dearly … please guide me what can be done .. I want another alternative ,, any other way that i can do nikka with the husband im with and in love with without having intercourse or marry someone else… Because I cant do that, its like im being punished while i didnt do anything … Please i really need help ,,, I ALSO want to know that my husband is born a moslim, he has prayed in the past … he drinks alcohol he does clubbing women also his work is his first priority at this point .. but he has great knowledge of islam at the other hand .. so i want to know a person like that if he says talaq three times while he doesnt pray , drinks , work … does that means his verbal words are acceptable to divorce me in islam ? can u please help me becos i dont want to go through this painful procedure of marrying someone else … kindly advice me what to do .. Thanks
We are Muslims. We believe in the Quran and Hadith, and keep the commandment of Allah and His Messenger at the foremost. After giving two Talaqs, the Holy Quran said that:
فَإِنْ طَلَّقَهَا فَلا تَحِلُّ لَهُ مِنْ بَعْدُ حَتَّى تَنْكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُ ?
If He has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband. Then, if the other husband divorces her, it is no sin on both of them that they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. (2:230)
It means that reuniting with the husband after three talaqs is haram, but after valid halalah she can marry the previous husband again and live with him. For halalah it is necessary to have intercourse with second husband, otherwise the halalah will not be valid. There is no other solution. This is the ruling of the Quran and Hadith, we should bow down our head in submission to the Quran and Hadith and avoid thinking and adopting self-made solutions:
لا حتی یذوق من عسیلتک وتذوق من عسیلتہ (او کما قال)
Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best
Darul Uloom Deoband