Q: On what basis can the mother of a girl reject a proposal from a man? Furthermore, the mother has divorced from the father and the father of the girl resides in another city. The only other elderly male figure is the girl’s mother’s brother. Does the proposal need to made throught the birth father or the uncle?
A. Parents have the welfare of their children in mind in all matters; including marriage. The rejection of the proposal by the mother can be for many reasons; the Deen of the boy, his character, his background, etc. and these are valid reasons for rejecting the proposal.
If the father is contactable, his permission and blessings should be sought. If he is not contactable, or he takes no part in the welfare of the children, the mother and uncle will be consulted.
Mufti Siraj Saheb adds:
Also note that in the Hanafi Madhab a Nikah will be valid even without the consent of the Wali, which is the father in this case. So if the mother gives permission for the Nikah without the father’s consent, the Nikah will be valid, on condition that the boy is suitable and compatible with the girl.
Allah Ta’aala knows best.
Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked by: Mufti Siraj Desai