Dear Imam I have been married for 4 years and have a one years old daughter. Since giving birth I feel I have that responsibility of bring up my daughter in Islam. However my husband whom is Muslim by name is against this and doesn’t want me to send her to a mosque in the near future, I get very angry and frustrated with my husband behaviour, to the point I want to leave him.
I have tried my level best to teach my husband about Islam and given him books ect to read but he isn’t interested. I want to start praying five times a day and wear the head scarf but it doesn’t allow it and takes it off my head? What do I do? Fight back and wear the head covering? This will lead me to disobeying him just to please Allah swt and I’m happy to do this? But is it the right decision?
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
It is encouraging to note that you have the concern of inculcating the teachings of Islam in your life and your family. May Allāh Ta‘āla reward you abundantly and continue to grant you steadfastness and blessings for your efforts. Āmīn.
Marriage is a sacred institution which is supposed to bring understanding, harmony and tranquillity in the couple’s lives and thereby in society as a whole. At times, one will encounter obstacles during the years of marriage. Those are the times where one has to exercise patience and try his/her utmost best to resolve the issue in an amicable and diplomatic manner.
It is important to understand that the key to proper communication with any member of one’s family is to understand each other’s temperament and take into consideration how the other person will feel in regards to such a matter. Though your intention was noble, perhaps your approach may have caused your husband to react in such a way. As such, we advise you to approach your husband in such a manner which you know to be most effective. You very well understand the temperament and mentality of your husband, take advantage of this aspect and use it to bring your husband closer to Islam.
Furthermore, you may start conducting collective recitation of the book, ‘Fadhaail-e-Aamaal’ by Shaykhul Hadīth Maulana Zakariyyah (rahimahullāh) and by introducing the effort of Tablīgh to your husband. One will be surprised how this has resulted effective for families to come closer to Islam throughout the world.
If there is an Imam in your area, request him to befriend your husband. The friendship will help your husband to be influenced towards the right direction.
Respected sister in Islam, inshAllāh through patience and perseverance, your husband will learn to establish a strong connection with Allāh Ta‘āla and this method will definitely create an Islamic environment in the house.
Resort to Salāh al-Hājah and Du‘ā’. The changing of hearts is in the hands of Allāh Ta‘āla. Nothing is hopeless in the power of Allah Ta‘āla.
And Allah Ta‘āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai