I’m a 23 year old boy. I mastrubate.I listen to music. I don’t offer my prayer, except once in a blue moon.I watch porn too. I’m trying to fight these things but i’m not sucessful. I didn’t completed my Quran too but i can read it actually i completed 23 paras out of 30.i repent over my sins and still do sins again,
#1 what is going wrong? is it means that my repenting is not enough or right or i’m missing something?I missed 5 friday prayers in a row. First two with out any excuse, third one because i was ill honestly speaking i could have made the third one buti didn’t take risk bath. 4th one also left in feeling of illness and again 5th one with out excuse.I saw the ruling that a seal will be placed on heart.#2 what should i do now
? i don’t want to be among wicked ones.#3 What should i do about completing my Quran? #4 Is is necessary to complete remaining 7 paras from some Imam or my careful reading will be enough?#5 I also want to know about the excuses we make for different things? Like i left Quran at 23rd para becasue my Imam punished me becasue my mother’s Grievance. Like i fail every time after repenting, one way to look it is a boy do need to marry he can’t resist urges so I shoud just adjust with all my sinsthe other way to look at it i will rise again and again to repent until sins are over or I’m dead.#6How one should react to these thoughts adjusting or keep fighting?#7
Does excuses like being adjusted with sins and things like that should be one’s life?#8 Also I’m facing a problem that in my life learning becoming more important than prayers what should i do in such case?I need all 8 answer, i know i will take time but it might save me.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
1.) & 2.) It is a good sign that you feel sad about your sins and repent from them. Never despair of the Mercy of Allah, He is the Most-Forgiving, the Most-Merciful. At the same time do not fall into the trap that you can continue sinning. Make every effort to resist the urge to commit sins.
Make your faith your priority. The obligatory acts of worship such as Salah need be to performed. They should always be the first priority.
Allah in His Infinite Mercy has created man with various needs and desires. The challenge for a true slave of Allah is to satisfy his desires without transgressing or sinning.
Set safeguards to prevent yourself from sinning. For example, charge yourself a penalty every time you commit a sin by giving away an amount in sadaqah that is not too small so that it does not impact you, nor too big that you don’t do it.
Always keep yourself occupied with useful, productive work. Do not use the Internet in a private space or room. Rather, you should use it in full view of your family members.
If you have free time spend it with your father and mother, go to the masjid, read and listen to the Quran, take a walk, read something beneficial or listen to a lecture.
Try to fast as that will help you resist your urges. Every time a thought of sin (neglecting prayer, listening to music, watching haram) comes, make dua to Allah to protect you. Make it a habit to recite the following dua. It is beneficial for keeping chaste and pure:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْهُدَى وَالتُّقَى وَالْعَفَافَ وَالْغِنَى
[O Allah! I ask You for guidance, piety, chastity and self-sufficiency.] [i] [ii]
If you can fulfill the rights of a wife it will be best for you to get married.
Missing salah is a major sin. Do not let Shaytan deprive you of Paradise [al-Jannah]. You don’t know how long you will live. Do you want to meet Allah in this state where you have neglected prayer after prayer?
The hadith you have referenced in your inquiry is: “Whosoever misses three friday [jumu’ah] prayers by taking the matter lightly [meaning out of negligence], Allah will seal his heart.”
This does not mean disbelief [kufr] or that one cannot repent, rather the scholars of hadith have given different meanings of the heart being sealed. Among the interpretations is that it means that heart becomes hard, harsh, and ignorant or is deprived of Allah’s kindness or that the ability to do good deeds is withdrawn from the heart or that the heart becomes like that of a hypocrite [munafiq]. [iii] [iv] [v]
As is evident from the above, missing three jumu’ah prayers without an acceptable reason is a very serious sin and according to one explanation makes one heart like that of a hypocrite.
You have stated that some of the jumu’ah prayers were missed due to being sick and this is an acceptable reason. However, you need to make sincere repentance for those jumu’ah prayers that were missed without an acceptable reason and resolve to never be negligent in performing them.
The bath [ghusl] of Jumu’ah is a sunnah and not obligatory as long as one is not in a state of major ritual impurity. In the future if you are not very sick then you should go even if you do not take a bath to avoid getting sicker. Just make wudhu and go, but do not miss the Jumu’ah prayer. [vi]
Review the advices mentioned above and start applying them immediately. Along with that make sincere repentance. Shed tears when you are alone by yourself and ask Allah to forgive you. Insha-Allah if you repent sincerely and do your best to avoid sin and pray your prayers, Allah will accept your forgiveness.
3.) & 4.) Continue reading the Quran on your own if you feel that you have learned it correctly. However at your first opportunity go to teacher to make sure that you have not forgotten anything and that you are reading it correctly.
If you can, make it a point to spend sometime with the Imam or a Quran teacher. Surround yourself with good people. This is a very important part of resisting sins. Be around those people who remind you of Allah. Insha-Allah this will also have a good affect on you.
5.) 6.) 7.) & 8.) Getting used to sins is not an excuse. One has to keep resisting the urge to commit sins and implement solutions as mentioned above.
Think about all the excuses one can make for your worldly life: classes, work, homework, etc. If you don’t understand your homework or cannot follow the lecture in class, do you just give up or do you try to look for a solution? If a person cannot find a job on his first attempt does he just give up?
We take work and school so seriously that we sacrifice our health and our family life for it, but when it comes to religion [deen] we try to get away from it as much as we can by making excuses and blaming others. One way or another you have to find a way to overcome these sins.
Your faith [iman] is the first priority. You have to identify ways for preserving your faith. Look for solutions and search sincerely, Allah will guide you.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Sohail ibn Arif,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
اللهمَّ ! إني أسألُك الهدى والتقى ، والعفافَ والغنى . وفي روايةٍ : والعفَّةَ [i]
صحيح مسلم الرقم: ٢٧٢١
قوله صلى الله عليه وسلم (اللهم إني أسألك الهدى والتقى والعفاف والغنى) أما العفاف والعفة فهو التنزه عما [ii]
لايباح والكف عنه والغنى هنا غنى النفس والاستغناء عن الناس وعما في أيديهم
شرح النووي على مسلم، ١٧/ ٤١ دار إحياء التراث العربي
کتاب الفتاوی، مولانا خالد سيف الله رحماني ٣/ ٦٨ [iii]
المراد بالتهاون التساهل وقلة المبالالة والإهتمام وليس المراد الستخفاف فانها كفر (طبع الله ) ختم [iv]
على قلبه ) يمنع إيصال الخير إليه )
بذل المجهود ٦/ ٢٢
يعني يجعله بمنزلة المختوم عليه لا يصل إليه شيء من الخير وغشاه ومنعه الطافه أو جعل فيه الجهل والجفاء [v]
والقسوة أو صير قلبه قلب منافق
أوجز المسالك، ٢/ ٤٩٣
وسن لصلاة جمعة و) لصلاة (عيد) هو الصحيح كما في غرر الأذكار وغيره) [vi]
(قوله: هو الصحيح) أي كونه للصلاة هو الصحيح، وهو ظاهر الرواية.
رد المحتار، ١/ ١٦٨ – ١٦٩