Rights of daughter-in-law.

please tell me what are the rights of the daughter in law?

is her mother in law allowed to turn her husband against her and tell her son to not give the wife any money?

is she allowed to do gheebat or abuse the daughter in law for no reason?

what is the status of a revert in islam? what is the reward

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

1. A daughter in law should try her best to get along with her in-laws especially her mother-in-law by showing good character and observing patience. Eventually, by the will of Allah Ta’āla, this good character will increase the respect they have for her. Her attitude of kindness and compassion will bring them closer to her and help foster a better relationship.

Shar’īah advocates that one interact in a good way with one’s relatives even if they mistreat you. Consider the following hadīth:

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رضي الله عنه، أَنَّ رَجُلًا قَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ إِنَّ لِي قَرَابَةً أَصِلُهُمْ وَيَقْطَعُونِي، وَأُحْسِنُ إِلَيْهِمْ وَيُسِيئُونَ إِلَيَّ، وَأَحْلُمُ عَنْهُمْ وَيَجْهَلُونَ عَلَيَّ، فَقَالَ: «لَئِنْ كُنْتَ كَمَا قُلْتَ، فَكَأَنَّمَا تُسِفُّهُمُ الْمَلَّ وَلَا يَزَالُ مَعَكَ مِنَ اللهِ ظَهِيرٌ عَلَيْهِمْ مَا دُمْتَ عَلَى ذَلِكَ»

Abu Huraira (radiyallahu anhu) reported that a person said: “Allah’s Messenger, I have relatives with whom I try to have a close relationship, but they sever (this relation). I treat them well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards me.” Upon this he (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “If it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and there would always remain with you on behalf of Allah an Angel to support you who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness).”[1]

Every person has a different nature and temperament. This variation becomes more in broader families and marriages. The only solution for one’s peace when living with people is patience and tolerance. If one conditions the mind to be patient, over time, patience becomes one’s nature and it becomes easy to tolerate people of different temperaments.

A mother in law should not interfere with her son’s marriage unnecessarily as this leads to creating a drift between her and her daughter in law. This also creates instability in the marriage and is a cause of a breakdown in the marriage.

It is necessary for a husband to provide maintenance for his wife. Hence, it will be inappropriate for a mother in law to prevent her son from providing for her without any legitimate Shar’ī excuse.

Backbiting is not permissible in general, regardless of whether a daughter in law backbites her mother in law or vice versa.

1. When a non-Muslim reverts to Islām, all his sins are washed off. Further, if a person reverts to Islām from another divine faith such as Christianity or Judaism, then he will be entitled to receive a double reward. Consider the following narration:

“Three people shall receive double the reward; a person from the people of the book eho brought faith in his prophet and brought faith in Muhammad Sallallāhu ‘Alayhi Wa Sallam, a slave who fulfils his duties to Allāh as well as those of his master, and a person who owned a slave girl, whom he had taught good manners and a good education, and then he freed her and married her.” [2] 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Nabeel Valli

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net