I am a 17 year-old boy, since I was 15 I have loved my cousin sister. I was impressed by her beauty and religious knowledge, in order to protect myself from today’s society I want to marry her. She doesn’t know this, neither have I told her that I love her. We have only shared Islamic messages on our mobile. I feel lonely without her. In loneliness I sometimes masturbate to satisfy my need. I am pursuing graduation and this is my first year. Please explain what I should do.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We commend you for seeking counsel in your affair.
Allah Ta’ālā has ordained the laws of hijab between man and woman because of their natural inclination towards one another. We as Muslims should be particular in maintaining the laws of hijab.
Your cousin sister is a Ghair Mahram (not prohibited in marriage) to you. In principle, one has to observe the laws of hijab with Ghair Mahrams. It is not permissible for you to neither look at her nor send her “Islamic” messages through the cell phone. You should not have any communication with her. It is normal for a male to have a natural inclination towards the opposite gender. The permissible outlet for your desires is through marriage. You should approach your elders and seek their counsel if you wish to get married.
In the meanwhile you should desist from aggravating your desires by looking at your cousin or any other woman. You should always guard your gaze from impermissible elements. Keep busy with other engagements to keep your mind preoccupied from thoughts which aggravate your desires. Masturbation is a serious disease. You should always protect yourself from any potential circumstances which would lead to this sin. Read the following article on practical ways to refrain from masturbation;
Mawlana Ali bin Cassim
Student Darul Iftaa
Los Angeles, CA (USA)
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.