I came back to Canada a week later after not allowing him near me as I was so disgusted and because I hate him so. I initially wanted a divorce after coming back and slipping into a suicidal depression, and my parents agreed. Now that its come time to ask for the divorce, my mother just had a nervous breakdown and there is physical and verbal abuse goin on in my house 24/7. I find that I cannot stay here any longer, since I dont get along with my parents but I cannot sacrifice my body to someone i hate and he knows that too.Is it jaiz if we make a deal that he take another wife and not be allowed to come near me – like we keep the nikah but he lets go of his rights upon me and i let go of my rights upon him to maintain the family honor?
Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding your problem.
Sister, since you state in such definite words that you hate your husband, I
am baffled why you agreed to the nikah. You strike me as being an assertive
person so why did you give up your right to say no? Did you tell your
parents that you did not want to marry this man? Have you told your husband
that you despise him?
I strongly suggest that you contact learned Ulema in your area and ask them
to guide you. If you are so bent on not going ahead with a lifetime with
this man, you need to speak to someone who will guide you personally and
assist you to see your way more clearly through this situation.
When any individual, be it an offspring or a parent go against the commands
of Allah Ta’ala, then the results can be negative and unhealthy. It is sad
that you and your mother have ended up with depression. This is not an
acceptable situation and all of you in the family need to take stock of the
situation. You cannot go on tearing each other apart. You all have to
forgive each other and realise that although feelings have been hurt and
unacceptable actions have been taken, you are still kith and kin. Allah
Ta’ala tests us in different ways and dear sister, as you are younger than
your parents, try not to judge them too harshly. I understand that you are
unhappy the way events have turned out but you can resolve this situation in
an acceptable way with the help of learned elders.
Please turn to Allah Ta’ala for guidance. Perform your 5 daily salaah
promptly, increase zikr, duas, istigfaar, darood shareef and recitation of
the Holy Quran. Find your solace in your Creator and please do not despair.
Please do write again if you wish. May Allah Ta’ala guide you and alleviate
your pain and restore your family ties. Ameen.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best.
Sister Fadila
Social department
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai