As-salaamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Someone I know wants to get divorced from her Husband but he says he will not give her a divorce. He is being very stubborn and says that he will get married again and even if the nikah is not broken then he can still get married but she will not be able to.
They got married at an early age in 2012. He was 20 she was 19. The girl is from England while the guy is from Pakistan and is studying in the UK. The guys mother came to the girls house being a distant family friend and asked for her son to marry the girl. The mother was very pushy and the girl did not really want to marry him but she reluctantly agreed and the family accepted and they did nikah within a few days. The girl and boy were not living together but they did see each other here and there at the girls parents’ house. The registry marriage was also done very soon after.
Still the boy and girl did not live together because the families wanted to do a proper ‘ruksati’ later on as the girl was working and the boy was studying. And they frowned upon the girl and boy being in seclusion although this was permissible. But the boy used to called the girl and she would not agree to see him but she reluctantly agreed and they used to see each other in seclusion. He also gave her a ring to wear.
As time went on, they saw each without their parents knowledge for a few months and he got the girl pregnant. She didn’t want anyone to know but he wanted to keep it. She didn’t want to keep it and tell her family so she had an abortion. The next month or so she got pregnant again and this time she told her mother only. They went to doctors and found she had a miscarriage.
After some time, the girl and her family went to Pakistan to do shopping for their “wedding”. When they came back, the girl found that he had been cheating on her and been with some girls while she was away. She also find out and realised that he only married her for his stay in England and had used her all this time. They also found out that the boy’s family had done black magic on the girl and the family to get them to agree and to get the girl to be attracted to him.
They then split up and after some time the girl’s family moved away to another city to get away from the boy’s evil, cheating family and start afresh. The boy’s family now have no idea where they live.
The girl has asked for a divorce time and time again but he will not give it and wants her back. She has said that she will never go back to him and hates him for everything that happened and is really guilty about it all. But he is just not giving the divorce and in Islam only the man can give the divorce. He is saying that he will marry again but she can’t because he is still her husband but he can have another 3 wives.
The girl just wants to be free from her and divorce him and move on with her life. She is still young and would want to marry again.
What can the girl now do being in the situation that she is in? If he is just not giving her a divorce, what can she do?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother/Sister in Islam,
There are two ways of addressing the issue.
The first is seek the intervention of two senior people from both families. One from each family. This is in keeping with the following injunction of the Quran:
{وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهَا إِنْ يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا} [النساء: 36]
Translation: And if you fear a breach between them, then appoint an arbiter from his folk and an orbiter from her folk. If they (the arbiters) desire reconciliation, Allāh will affect it between them. Surely, Allāh is All-Knowing, All-Aware. Surah Nisaa (36)
If this is not practical, then the girl may refer to her local Ulama/Individual Body and apply for an annulment of her marriage. The Ulama/Individual Body will advise her on the procedure.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Tareque Ahmed
Student Darul Iftaa
New York, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.