Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu
I have a question about Nikah
I am unmarried men but I have affair with a divorced women. She was divorced from her first marriage and she was having a daughter of 9 years old of her first husband. We both are agree for a marriage even her parents are agree but when I told my parents about her they tortured me in many ways. Even my father told me if you marry with her I will give poison to the whole family and also shoot you on your forehead. But I have promised her that I will marry only with you and also adopt your 9 year old daughter. We both love each others immensely even I loves her daughter & she also loves me.
Now I want to know how I motivated my parents in Islamic way ?????
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
At the outset we wish to point out that it is prohibited and in fact a major sin to have any contact with the woman as both of you are ghair-mahram (strangers) to each other. You should terminate all contact with her and make sincere taubah (repentance).
It appears that your decision to marry is driven by your infatuation. A decision to marry based on mere infatuation is weak and delicate. Marriage in specific and life in general have many challenges which can be overcome only with a sound and strong marital bond. A weak and delicate marriage based on infatuation will not withstand the huge challenges of life.
You are young and do not have the mental maturity to make a sound decision to marry. Your promise to marry the woman and take care of her child was also irresponsible. Your fathers anger is also understandable. He feels betrayed by you sidestepping him in such a major aspect of your life. His anger could also be due to you making an incorrect decision and fearing harm and danger to you.
You should identify a senior and influential person and confide in him. Explain to him your feelings towards the girl and your intention to marry her. Seek his wise counsel and if need be request him to intervene to your father on your behalf.
We advise you never to proceed without making Istikhara and getting the approval of your parents. You risk much in doing so.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Safwaan Ibn Ml Ahmed Ibn Ibrahim
Student Darul Iftaa
Limbe, Malawi
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.