Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I have a fatwa request. I am from a secular Muslim family, but have recently taken the shahada and started practicing. However, I live with my family, and if they knew, they would disapprove. Currently, I am finding it difficult to pray, eat halal, and fulfill other duties. Am I exempt from anything?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah Most High reward you for your immense effort and for choosing to transform your life. By Allah’s grace, you will find ease after difficulty.
Prayer and Food
I am afraid that there is no exception for you in this case. Millions of Muslims have converted or chosen a religious way of life, and many have faced death, torture, and other evils. Read this article for more:
Can I Eat Supermarket Meat With My Christian Family to Make Them Happy?
Discretion
Start by being discreet, like praying in the bedroom, until you get comfortable with the prayer. You can even pray in the washroom if necessary or outside the house. Eat vegetarian food, make up some excuse. Then, gradually but clearly, tell them what you have chosen to do. Let them see that you are changing for the better, and if they don’t agree, deal with it politely. Wait until they are ready to talk about it calmly.
Good Character
Focus on good character and excellence with them because one of the most extraordinary acts of devotion to Allah Most High is excellence to parents. A man asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) “What deeds are the best?” The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “To perform the prayers at their stated fixed times, to be good and dutiful to one’s parents, and to participate in Jihad in Allah’s Cause.” [Bukhari]
Study
In the meanwhile, make sure you take courses with us, all for free, and learn this religion correctly from authentic sources. Keeping the company of positive, religious people is essential. Find local support by visiting your mosque and attending local religious events and classes to meet friends.
Most importantly, please look at this reader, where you will find tips from converts themselves:
New to Islam Reader: A Trusted Collection of Resources for Converts
When you are having a hard time, remember this inspiring hadith. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “How wonderful is the case of a believer; it is good for him in everything, and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah, and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently, and that is better for him.” [Muslim]
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.