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Is It Unlawful That I Minimize Contact With My Relatives Who Constantly Ask My Family for Money?

Answered according to Shafi'i Fiqh by Seekersguidance.org
Question: I live in the US, and my uncle lives in the Middle East with his family. I avoid talking to them because they abuse my family by constantly asking us for money for every single thing. We are not rich, but alhamdulillah we get by. I feel that they guilt-trip my family into sending them money all the time. For this reason, I avoid their phone calls as much as I can and talk briefly if necessary. Have I severed my bond with them, and will Allah curse me?
Answer:Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. You have not severed your ties with them, as long as you ensure to speak with them once in a while, even in the most minimal manner. If they ask you for money, ask them to speak to your parents because they control the funds.  See this link about maintaining ties of kinship:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThTswaaevbY

Grudges

With the 15th of Sha`ban have just passed, I am more worried about the grudge in your heart toward them than your family being used. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Nurse no grudge, nurse no aversion and do not sever ties of kinship and live like fellow-brothers as servants of Allah.“ [Muslim] I urge you to contemplate the following:

Need

Your parents may not be telling you the full story. Do you know exactly how poor they are? Do you know what they need the money for? What if they are asking sincerely and need help? Many people tend to have a wealthy image, even among their family and friends, when in reality, they are struggling privately.

Charity for next of kin

Charity within the family was encouraged by the Prophet; may Allah bless him and grant him peace. Zainab, the wife of Abdullah, said, “I asked the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, ‘Will it be accepted as a charity on my part if I spend on my husband and the orphans in my care?‘ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘She will have two rewards, the reward for charity and the reward for upholding ties of kinship.‘” [Ibn Majah]

Your parents will not suffer, ever, from giving charity to their family. They will only reap reward, by the grace of Allah, and become more and more beloved in the eyes of their family. This is good for everyone.

No loss

It may be that your parents have the wealth and means to support themselves because they give in charity to family. A man never knows what good deed it is that pleases Allah the most, and it may be this very deed that has secured their own financial independence by Allah’s grace and pleasure.
When one gives in charity, one will never be in a position of loss, as charity only increases one’s wealth or keeps it the same. It does not decrease.

The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “There are three things for which I swear and narrate to you about, so remember it.“ He said, “The wealth of a slave (of Allah) shall not be decreased by charity, no slave (of Allah) suffers injustice and is patient with it except that Allah adds to his honor; […] [Tirmidhi]

Avid

Be avid to give charity, so that Allah might include us with those of this verse, “Those who spend their wealth in the cause of Allah and do not follow their charity with reminders of their generosity or hurtful words—they will get their reward from their Lord, and there will be no fear for them, nor will they grieve. [Qu’ran, 2:262]

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next with an endless bounty.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

This answer was collected from Seekersguidance.org. It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

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