How Can I Help My Daughter Say No to Boys Who Approach Her for an Illicit Relationship?

Answered according to Shafi'i Fiqh by


Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question.

Role Model

The best thing you can do for your daughter is to be a role model of Islamic character, following the rules of gender interaction, and covering correctly. She should see you lower your gaze around men, speak to non-mahram men reservedly, and keep a distance from men.  This will set the standard of gender interaction for her and leave no confusion in her mind between right and wrong. Encourage her to cover correctly in loose, modest clothing and never leave the house with make-up.


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Rely on Allah

The bottom line is that you cannot make every decision for her and you must be prepared to let her live her life. She might make mistakes along the way, but you should guide her and love her every step of the way. Ask Allah constantly to increase her taqwa (God-fearingness) and hand over your inabilities and fears to Him. Your willingness to support her and show her what is right without embarrassing her or destroying her self-confidence is the best thing you can do as a mother. May Allah give you and your family the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

This answer was collected from It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

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