Home » Hanafi Fiqh » Muftisays.com » How can I overcome my shyness and lack of confidence without becoming too talkative?

How can I overcome my shyness and lack of confidence without becoming too talkative?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftisays.com
Assalamualaikum ,

I am a very extremely shy person, although i know its islamically good for a female to be shy, i think that it affects my daily life too much. i find it hard to talk to people, even close family, i usually sit there quietly while people around me talk, like at uni or any courses that i do. Although i have friends who understand that im a quiet person and dont mind me not talking much..i find that being shy stops me from making more friends….also its really bad to the extent that i cannot say sallam to anyone, i only reply back once someones already said sallam to me but am too shy to be the first one to say it..it also holds me bak from answering questions at tutorials and lectures, when i know the answer but dont have any confidence to say it.

overall i think i have a very low level of confidence, and could be a much better person, a better muslim if i wasnt so shy..is there anyway to overcome this shyness, not so much that i become really loud and talkative, but just so i can comfortably talk around people and have enough confidence to say what i want without being held back by my shyness and lack of confidence.


Bismihi Ta’ala

Allah Ta’ala, whilst mentioning the qualities of his true believers mentions: “And when ignorant people approach them, they leave them saying Salaam (without involving themselves in a baseless conversation).”

Rasoolullah Sallallhu alaihi wasallam is reported to have said: “Whosoever believes in Allah and the last day should say good things or stay quiet.”

In another narration it is stated that modesty is a branch of faith.

This quality is great to have. Why do you feel that your voice needs to be heard? Obviously in instances such as conveying Salaam you must speak, and also, shouldn’t feel shy to learn. But in other gatherings like family ones, in which the majority of conversations are gossip and backbite, there is no need to get involved.

We musn’t worry about what other people think as long as our actions are in accordance to Deen.

Why do you feel that by speaking more you may become a better Muslim?

Shyness is a quality that is slowly disappearing from the believers and to have this level of shyness in this day and age is a gift. This should boost your level of confidence and shouldn’t make you feel low. People who are loud usually do it for the attention and are shallow inside. It is the shy and modest ones who are full of great qualities.

May Allah give us all this quality of modesty. Aameen.

Mufti Yaseen Shaikh

Original Source Link

This answer was collected from MuftiSays.com, based in London (UK). It is one of the fruits of Darul Uloom London. Many ‘ulama are involved in answering the Q&A on the site, including: Shaikul Hadeeth Mufti Umar Farooq Sahib, Mufti Saifur Rahman Sahib, Mufti Abdullah Patel Sahib, Maulana Qamruz Zaman Sahib, Mufti Abu Bakr Karolia Sahib.

Read answers with similar topics: