Loosing one’s motivation to do good
Q: For about a year now, my wife and I are having problems with regards to our Islamic Lifestyle. Alhamdulillaah, previously, we were very punctual and even performed our Qadhaa if we missed Salaah. We were more conscious Deeni wise and tried our best to stay away from evil. Last year March, my wife had a miscarriage and since then things have just been going downhill. Our Salaahs get missed as if it is nothing. We have both discussed this issue and we both feel regret and remorse for missing our Salaahs but both of us have experienced that something inside is making us feel this way and stopping us from performing our Islamic duties. Everything in our life has also been going downhill in terms of life situations. People have been making problems and saying certain untrue bad things about my Mother. My Father cannot find a job. With regards to Salaah, both my wife and I feel this, that even when we do try to pray Salaah with full and proper concentration, there is no feeling of Salaah. What we used to feel before, love, contentment and happiness with Allaah Taalaa have disappeared. I hardly pray Salaah with Jamaat in the Masjid and most of the time I don’t even pray Salaah at all except Jummuah and that too I feel like running out of the Masjid as quickly as possible. Respected Mufti/Sheikh, I beg of you to please help us as this is really getting out of hand. Every time my wife and I discuss this issue we say that we will change tomorrow but it never happens. We have tried to improve but it just never happens. Something feels like it is blocking us from happiness. We live with my Mum and Dad and they too hardly ever pray Salaah and they too have the same feeling of blockage. We hardly ever pray Quraan where we used to read quite a lot before. Previously, we hardly used to watch TV but now it has become a norm. Our Sexual life has also taken a downward turn as we both cannot and do not feel what we used to feel before. We cannot fall pregnant since the miscarriage. My Mum and I will fight and shout at each other for silly stupid things. My Mum is having a problem with one of her cousins whom she owes money too. We are going to pay him and we have the money. But he keeps on making her life a misery and this too causes friction in the family as this is what my Mum talks about all the time. My Dad suffers from Bi-Polar Disorder but sometimes he will cause silly and stupid fights in the family and say really silly and inappropriate things. We also eat a lot more than before. As a family we are always hungry and looking for things to eat. Our money comes in for the month and the next thing we know it is gone. We are always having money problems. Everything just seems to be spiralling out of control. Our lives are such a mess. I do not know what to do. What could the problem be? I am so confused? I didn’t want to believe that this could be Sihr or Jadoo or Jinns but could this be? Should I go to see someone who can take these evil things out of us? Please make me Maaf Respected Mufti/Sheikh for this long email and for bothering you, I am really really sorry. I just want to improve myself and my family and need your
valuable advice to guide me?
A: Start off with the following:
(1) Ta`leem of Fazaa’il-e-A`maal, Fazaa’il-e-Sadaqaat and Bahishti Zewar for approximately 15 minutes in the mornings and evenings.
(2) Recite some portion of the Qur’aan.
(3) Do zikr of the kalimah, Durood Shareef and istighfaar.
(4) Make a collective du`aa at the end of each session, begging Allah Ta`ala for His special help, mercy and forgiveness for oneself and the rest of the ummat.
Recite Surah Falaq, Surah Naas and Aayatul Kursi after every namaaz which is performed on time and before going to sleep.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.