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Mother being abusive to her children

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: Is it permissible to leave the home of your mother unmarried? I have a 2 year old daughter and I am a single mother. I live with my mother, brothers (1 of which is disabled) and a daughter. My mother has been emotionally abusive towards myself and siblings most of our lives. She has the behaviour of a narcotic and lives her life believing that bad things are sent to her from people doing dirty work. She even blames myself, siblings and even her own family of sending things to her. We’ve tried speaking to her but she takes offence of anyone offering her advice. I would like to know is it wrong to leave her home as a Muslim unmarried woman in order to protect my daughter from having to endure the same abuse and bad duahs put upon her? And also to protect myself and ensure a happier life for my mother as well as myself? May Allah protect us from the bad duahs, and guide us to make the right choices and May Allah guide and protect my mother too, and grant her ease, comfort contentment and happiness. 


A: If there is some way where you could avoid your mother from being abusive towards yourself or your child we would advise you to remain with her and not to worry about the curses that she is uttering. She may not be in the right frame of mind. So her words insha-Allah will not affect you or your child.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ﴿الإسراء: ٢٣﴾

وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لَا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّـهَ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ﴿البقرة: ٨٣﴾

وعن عبد الله بن عمرو قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فاستأذنه في الجهاد فقال أحي والدك قال نعم قال ففيهما فجاهد . متفق عليه (مشكاة #3817)

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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