Q: I am a 26 year old man. I am working, Alhamdulillah, in a reputed company for the past two years. My marriage was fixed to a girl a year ago. And I have collected the amount of Mahar, to be gifted to girl. And I also have enough money to buy the household goods. I didn’t want to take money from my father for those things, so I have collected the amount myself. The girl was selected after a great effort by me to convince my father to get me married, (he wanted my sister to marry first, who is 9 years younger than me, but later agreed to allow me to get married). After the girl was selected my father told that the marriage would take place only after present house is extended to a bigger size and constructed. I work in a different city far away from my home town. I told him that it’s not required to construct the house right now as I do not stay in the city and there is one empty room for me to stay whenever I come home. He told me that he was planning for the future so as to accommodate all my five siblings after their respective marriages. I kept quiet and later the house construction got delayed and started six months later. Now the house is almost complete, so I am telling him to fix the date for the wedding. He is still not agreeing. He is telling to wait for more six more months or a year. What should I do now? He is very casual on the issue of my marriage. What I am think is that, there can be no more money (may be due to construction of the house) to spend for day of walimah, which includes spending on food, booking function hall, etc. The girl’s father is a pious man. He would be ready to do a marriage as per Sharia, with least spending, but my father might not be ready, as I am the eldest son. How do I explain to my father as he is ready to listen to me on the issue of my marriage (but at the same time he keen in listening to me about my career and my job)? Please help.
A: I don’t think he understands what the Shar`iah is. The Shari`ah says that as soon as the match is found the nikaah should be done. Had he understood the Shari`ah he would have done the nikaah immediately.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
عن أبي هريرة قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم إذا خطب إليكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد عريض (ترمذي #1084)
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)