Q: I am writing to you with the deep hope to solve a problem that is affecting my life. I married a man from Saudi Arabia, a man I really loved with all my heart. Sadly we had problems because basically our views to see marriage life was very different but in spite of that I never thought to divorce from him. We had a silly argument but after that he chose to divorce. He didn’t tell me “talaq” directly but he told me clearly he didn’t wish to continue his life with me and that night he asked me to prepare my bags and leave. I didn’t and I was hoping with days he could change his mind. After three/four days he told me again about his willing to divorce and that it was the best thing because we didn’t match and he wished a new life with another woman more similar to his needs. The same night we had another argument and he talked to me again about his wish to divorce. He bought the tickets for the flight and he forced me to prepare my bags. I didn’t want to leave, first because I loved him and his kids and also it was night and it was Ramadhaan. So I asked a friend to come and pick me up to go to the airport. I want to be clear saying it has been one of the worst nights of my life. He has been very cruel and unpolite. Before going away I said to him to tell me”talaaq” so we could be divorced, because his intentions were clear, and I didn’t want to come back with a no clear situation. Also, I reverted to Islam few months before that and it wasn’t very clear for me the talaq matter. After that my ex-husband didn’t finish paying my mahr yet because he say that I “asked” the divorce ,also he asked me back the marriage ring. I want to understand if is true he doesn’t have to pay my mahr and if he can ask the ring back. The payment of mahr wasn’t in case of divorce. He was supposed to pay it soon after marriage but he didn’t. I need an honest advice.
A: If he intended talaaq when he told you to leave then talaaq is valid and you are now out of his marriage.
He doesn’t have the right to ask for the mahr or the ring or other gifts to be returned.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)