Answered by Shaykh Yūsuf Badāt
Question:
Does losing hope in our success, due to spending a long time in failure result in shirk or kufr? My mindset changes from time to time, and I can very quickly lose hope. It is like a sudden wave of depression or if not depression then sadness. Does this mean it is shirk or kufr?
Sometimes we say to Allāh, “Yā Allāh why do you do this?” Every time, at the most important occasions of my life, something bad happens that becomes the cause of my failure again. Sometimes, I get upset and sad at what Allāh does. Does this mean kufr?
“Despair is kufr” Is this an Islamic statement? If it is then, at various occasions of our life, we get extremely sad and we lose any hope of having something better in our life, so sometimes we even say to ourselves, “I am accepting failure for the rest of my life”. I used to say this often. Some people who are actually depressed lose hope and even think, “Why is Allāh not helping me?” “Probably Allāh does not want me to succeed”. Due to long time failures and problems, we actually start going with the flow and do not really hope for any happiness. Sometimes I have a mixed mindset and feelings, of positivity and negativity, and I go with the flow, and do not really think about anything, in the past, because of difficulty of finding the answers, I thought, “probably hell is my eternal place” but after sometime, due to favours and blessings, I thought that “no, I will find answers and correct my beliefs.” Sometimes we stop making dua, not because we are angry with Allah, but because we are so used to failures. I do not know how to explain further. Does this all make a Muslim a kafir? Such behavior of sadness for sometime / sadness for a longer time / depression / losing hope and thus just dragging life / sometimes after sadness, becoming hopeful etc. Does this all that I explained, means kufr, it means we have to retake the shahādah and if married, then marriage breaks?
Please consider that it is really hard and it takes time to change mindset. Please answer specifically.
I got depressed and said a lot of bad things to Allāh. I said a lot of bad things to Him, but did not abuse Him. I actual started believing in the heart that He does not care about me. Naturally, I stopped praying, I mean making dua.
Does despairing put us out of the fold of Islam? Kindly note that despairing here, I mean by that, the despair that gets to our heart. We lose hope. We lose hope that Allāh will do good to us. Sometimes this may linger. For someone, who faced this for two years, her mind is completely changed. She is like a person who does not really completely trust that Allāh will do good to her. She even says that her fate is not good. She does not only say this but also believes this. Sometimes, a thought that crosses our mind, we start believing it in heart because of our current circumstances. Sometimes we also say this because we believe it, but at the very deep down, all Muslims know that things will get better. Sometimes a person who completely thinks and believes that Allāh will only do bad to him, starts getting better with time but really gradually, like me. Right now, I am at the middle, thinking that maybe my life is filled with struggles. My dua never gets answered so I naturally stopped making it. My mom said to me that keep praying to Allāh. I said nothing happens mama, by making dua. I said that because I did not certainly believe with all my heart that dua does not get accepted, but I was sad and believed that mine does not get accepted, so making prayer would not do anything. Now I also notice that I do not make dua. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. Does this make me a kafir? Basically, I said that Allah, after listening to my dua, would not do what I want. I am getting better and believing in His plans, and I know it takes time. For example, He took my most beloved things from me, and I shouted at Him, not aloud, not even verbally, saying with my mouth with no voice, shouted and said “You got peace now”, “You take the things which are most beloved to me”. I actually started believing that He will take the most beloved things from me. Does all this, and the beliefs and statements make me a kafir?
I got very angry. I said to Allah that “You are not good. I do not know which help You talk about? Because You are watching me die and not doing anything.” Did this take me out of the fold of Islam?
I lose hope quite often, and no amount of motivation or anyone’s kind words help me. I lose hope that Allah will help me because it has been a long time, He did not help me. It even happened that I am starting to lose trust that He will help me. I naturally stopped making dua. It is like it was a complete sadness. Kindly do not tell me motivational words, because they do not help. It happens to me. Some days, I regain the trust. Does this take me to shirk or kufr? I have seen a lot of failure, continuous failure. It has been 2 years. It is a natural human tendency to lose trust and hope when we face such failures and depressing, disappointing things and it is impossible to stay hopeful and positive etc when you face continuous failures and insults. Again, kindly do not say motivational words. Kindly give the respective answers!
Answer:
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Jazāk Allāh Khayr/ Thank you for contacting Mathabah Institute.
Losing hope and carrying disappointment due to life circumstances and difficulties are natural human instincts. Since you still believe in Allāh and are merely shaken by the hardships, you are still considered Muslim. You have not committed kufr (disbelief). The author of the well-known creed manual, Al-Aqīdah Al-Ṭaḥāwīyyah, writes, “One does not get out of faith except by religiously [and explicitly] rejecting what enters one into it.” – (See: Al-Ta’līqāt Al-Aqīdah Al-Ṭaḥāwīyyah, Page 144[1], Al-Qawāid Al-Fiqhīyyah, Page 25, Dār Al-Tirmidhī[2])
Some of the statements you have made are definitely dangerous and detrimental to your faith, therefore you should abstain from articulating them. Rather, when frustrated, channel your energy to say “Astagfirullāh” or “Lā ḥawla wa lā quwwata illā billāh”. Absolute despair from Allāh’s endless mercy is from the acts of kufr (disbelief) and is mentioned in Islamic source texts. Therefore, sadness and at times, feeling hopeless is natural, however never be absolutely despondent of Allāh’s mercy. Know that He is always there. Sooner or later, He will facilitate ease.
“We test you with difficulty and good [conditions], as a trial; and to Us you will be returned.” – (Qur’ān 21:35)[3]
“And if it comes to you from the devil an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allāh. Indeed, He is the All-Hearing and All-Knowing.” – (Qurʿān: 41:36)[4]
“Do not despair of the mercy from Allāh. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allāh except the disbelieving people.” -(Qur’ān 12:87)[5]
“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” – (Qur’ān 94:5)[6]
The Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) said, “I bear testimony to the fact that there is no god but Allāh, and I am His Messenger. The person who would meet Allāh without entertaining any doubt about these [two fundamentals] would enter Paradise”. – (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 27)[7]
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Allāh has forgiven my followers the evil thoughts that occur in their minds, as long as such thoughts are not put into action or uttered.” – (Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhārī 5269)[8]
Only Allāh knows best
[1] ولا يخرج العبد من الإيمان إلا بجحود ما أدخله فيه – كتاب التعليقات المختصرة على متن العقيدة الطحاوية ص ١٤٤ دار العاصمة
[2] لَا عِبْرَةَ لِلتَوَهُم – القواعد الفقهية ص٢٥ دارالترمذي
[3] وَنَبْلُوكُم بِالشَّرِّ وَالْخَيْرِ فِتْنَةً وَإِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ – سورة الأنبياء ٣٥
[4] وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّه إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ – حم فصلت
[5] إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْأَسُ مِن رَّوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ – سورة يوسف ٨٧
[6] فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا – سورة الشرح ٥ إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
[7] فَقَالَ عِنْدَ ذَلِكَ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ اللَّهُ وَأَنِّي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ لاَ يَلْقَى اللَّهَ بِهِمَا عَبْدٌ غَيْرَ شَاكٍّ فِيهِمَا إِلاَّ دَخَلَ الْجَنَّةَ – رواه مسلم ٢٧
[8] عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رضى الله عنه عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَجَاوَزَ عَنْ أُمَّتِي مَا حَدَّثَتْ بِهِ أَنْفُسَهَا مَا لَمْ تَعْمَلْ أَوْ تَتَكَلَّمْ – رواه البخاري ٥٢٦٩