Answered by: Mufti Javed Ibn Nazir Kachhalia
Mufti Sahib I have one question I have married 6 months ago and the information is given about my wife was wrong she is 5 years elder than me and her cast is also different than mine. The second issue is this she hides lots of things from me and that is the reason I feel lots of anger but I do not ask her anything and I do not like her and I want to divorce her and I need separation please tell me can I divorce her or not.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Islam and Shariah teach us that, we should live with harmony, peace and love. If we have some kind of trouble, we should try to reconcile.
In a marriage life and relationship, there is always ups and downs. But is our responsibility to try to identify those issues and help to rectify them.
If husband and wife can’t reconcile and agree to terms in regards to understanding each other and living in harmony and peace, then Shariah has told us that we should appoint an ‘Arbitrator’.
The Quran, the Sunnah, consensus and sound reason, proves this step. Allah SWT says:
“And if you fear a separation between the two of them, appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family. If they desire reconciliation, Allah will bring them into an agreement. Verily Allah is Knowing, Knowledgeable.” (Suarh An-Nisa 4:35)
From the above verse, is clear that reconciliation should be done first and by appointing arbitrators from both sides.
Age shouldn’t be a factor in divorcing your wife. Our Prophet (Peace be Upon Him) was 25 years of age and his first wife Sayyiditina Khadijah (RA) was 40 years of age. Therefore, the age gap shouldn’t be a factor and reason for divorcing your wife.
The other point you mentioned was, your wife hides things from you. This also can be resolved by talking to her in a nice and amicable way with love and affection asking her why she hides things and the reasons. This shouldn’t be a reason for divorcing your wife. In the book of Fiqh, it has been written that if someone’s wife doesn’t perform her Salaah regularly, in this scenario also the husband shouldn’t divorce the wife.
It’s not compulsory to divorce the vicious woman (Fatawa Mahmoodiayyah Vol 12, Pg 165, Darul Ifta Jamiah Farooqiyah) Extracted from Durr Mukhtar Vol 5, Pg 377.
Treat them with kindness even if you dislike them; it is quite possible that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.” (Surah Nisa v.19)
Once all the avenues and tools have been utilized and still, there hasn’t been any change at all in the marriage life and no positive, then you can choose to marry another woman as it’s permissible. But if you want to divorce your wife and then marry another woman, this is also permissible.
Divorce is not considered a desirable act in Islam and is only permitted as a last resort. That is why the Prophet of Allah SallallahuAlahiWasalam has said ‘From the permissible acts Allah dislikes divorce the most’. (Sunan Ibn Majah p.162 v.1)
Therefore the conclusion we can derive is that it is impermissible to give divorce without any reason. However if someone did give it, the divorce will occur. (Raddul Mukhtar p.428 v.4)
After all, if you still want to go ahead with a divorce, this should be done in a cautioned and in a courtesy way. Not with hate and bitterness.
After you have divorced her, you still be entitled to provide for her in terms of shelter, accommodation and expenses.
The rich husband shall provide support in accordance with his means, and the poor shall provide according to the means that God bestowed upon him. God does not impose on any soul more than He has given it. God will provide ease after difficulty. (Surah Talaaq 65:7)
The different ways of giving divorce are:
- To give the wife one talaaq raje’e (retractable divorce). In either writing or by tongue verbally. Before her iddat is concluded you will be able to do rujoo and take her back by words or physical contact. If the iddat has concluded and you didn’t do rujoo, then you will need to do nikah with her if you want to stay with her.
- To give divorce three times during three different cycles of purity and tuhoor. This can be done through written or verbally
- To give three divorces at one time. This can be done through written or verbally
(Aapke Masaail aur unke Hal Vol 5, Pg 215, Maktabah Ludhyaanvi)
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Mufti Javed Ibn Nazir Kachhalia
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham