Kindly would you tell me if a husband and wife are having a conversation and the husband makes a remark ‘I don’t want to be your husband’ (no intention of divorce) and the wife says don’t say that what if it leads to a divorce, he says i didn’t have intention of divorce i didn’t say it in that way, i just said it because you made me feel bad, therefore it doesn’t constitute a divorce.
she objects to what he is saying and replies but what if it does constitutes a divorce even if you didn’t mean it
He replies i don’t care anymore because if it does then it does as i didn’t mean it in that way if i did i would have said the T or D word (meaning talaq or Divorce). i had no intention in saying it in that way.
He says because he was sure of not having any intention of divorce its ok and he’ll never say it again.
Do these words constitute a valid divorce?
Thank you so much for your help.
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
The words which effect divorce are of two types:
1) Clear and plain words (sareeh)
2) Ambiguous and allusive words (kinaya)
Sareeh means expressly pronouncing the word divorce or words derived from it, such as: “I divorce you” or “you are divorced” etc.. Clear and plain words effect divorce whether one intends divorce by them or not. (Hidayah, V2, P359, Raddul Muhtaar, V2, P465, Hindiyah, V1, P354)
Kinaya means using words that are not exclusively prescribed for issuing divorce, but alludes and hints to it. Kinaya words do not effect divorce unless one intends divorce by them or it is determined by the circumstance one is in. (Hidayah, V2, P373, Raddul Muhtaar, V2, P501, Hindiyah, V1, P374)
The kinaya words effect talaaq e bain (distinct divorce) when one intends divorce by them. (Hidayah, V2, P374, Raddul Muhtaar, V2, P507)
With regards to the situation mentioned above the statement “I don’t want to be your husband” falls under the category of kinaya (ambiguous divorce). The ruling of such a statement depends on the intention of the husband or the circumstances it was said in. If the discussion was about divorce (i.e. the wife is asking for a divorce etc) then talaq e bain (distinct divorce) will take place otherwise not. In the event of divorce if the husband and wife wish to live together they will have to remarry again.
Only Allah knows best.
Darul Ifta Birmingham