Please I need some help and advice. I am worried and I am not sure if I am still married to my husband. My husband keeps shouting divorce on me when he is in extreme anger. He has got a bad anger problem. For the last 6 months or so he has used the word divorce directly and indirectly. For example: We had a argument and he said to me: Yeah you bitch your gonna get a divorce, this divorce is happening n walked out. He said it in extreme anger.
He has also called my mother up and said in our language: I’m letting ur daughter go again in anger. We have been on another occasion in bed and in bitterness he will ask me: Why don’t we get divorced It will be the best thing for us So I can get a better wife to look after me. He feels I do not look after him as a wife should. Also 3/4 weeks ago he gathered family members over and gave me 1st talaq and took some of his stuff and went. I have lost count on how many times he has threatened to divorce me. We have had some time apart and he is saying now that he doesn’t want a divorce it was all in anger and he wants to come home. We both wanna make our marriage work and love each other dearly even though we have a lot of problems, but I can’t tolerate his bad behaviour towards me. He has been violent toward me and has no control over his verbal abuse to me. He is saying now he will change and be better to me We have two children. I am not sure if I should allow him to come home so we can work on our marriage. I am fearful I may be living in sin if me and he are divorced. Has the 3 talaqs gone through? My monthly cycle comes every 4/5 months but I have not experienced any for the past 5 months. Please help
He has also called my mother up and said in our language: I’m letting ur daughter go again in anger. We have been on another occasion in bed and in bitterness he will ask me: Why don’t we get divorced It will be the best thing for us So I can get a better wife to look after me. He feels I do not look after him as a wife should. Also 3/4 weeks ago he gathered family members over and gave me 1st talaq and took some of his stuff and went. I have lost count on how many times he has threatened to divorce me. We have had some time apart and he is saying now that he doesn’t want a divorce it was all in anger and he wants to come home. We both wanna make our marriage work and love each other dearly even though we have a lot of problems, but I can’t tolerate his bad behaviour towards me. He has been violent toward me and has no control over his verbal abuse to me. He is saying now he will change and be better to me We have two children. I am not sure if I should allow him to come home so we can work on our marriage. I am fearful I may be living in sin if me and he are divorced. Has the 3 talaqs gone through? My monthly cycle comes every 4/5 months but I have not experienced any for the past 5 months. Please help
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
(Fatwa: 1296/971/B=10/1434)
It appears from the question that the husband called the family members and gave one talaq; this was one raj’i talaq (revocable) which took place. The husband can take her back if three months did not pass after this talaq. But if the iddah of the woman was over after this talaq, then she got separated (bayina). Now, if they want to live together they can marry again with a fresh nikah and live as husband and wife. The rulings so if it is proved that the husband did not give three talaqs.
Allah knows Best!
Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband