I am in trouble please help me to protect my akhirat. I am staying in Saudi Arabia, performed hajj and umrah many times alhamdulillah. I liked a man who was hindu earlier but steadily he has reverted to Islam. Earlier he committed a lot of sins like drinking, making false money, but he promised to change himself. As I liked him we planned to marry after his conversion. I talked to my parents but they refused, saying that he can change anytime don’t believe him. But I don’t know why I always believed him. So we performed nikah secretly.
My parents don’t know about it. He came here on Mahram visa as I am working in a university. But after staying with him I noticed and closely observed that he doesn’t practice Islam, he doesn’t try to learn salaah, doesn’t take purity of mind and body seriously. I tried so many times and tried to let him understand in light of shari’ah, Quran and Hadith. He listens to everything but doesn’t follow anything except offering Juma salaah. He lies to me frequently (now, because of all this, I am not able to believe him). He promised me to practice Islam wholeheartedly but I don’t think that he feels the way a Muslim thinks. He always says I will do … I will do…. but he is least bothered about it. Currently he is not employed as well. I am feeling very helpless about from whom I should seek guidance, to whom should I share these things.
Recently he went to home country telling me that he is going for an interview. I arranged money and gave him. But when I asked someone else he confirmed there was nothing like that. When he came back I asked him to take an oath on the Quran and tell me the truth he told me the same that he appeared for an interview and gave money to the consultant and all. But again I don’t believe it.
I am in his nikah. I want to tell my parents about my marriage but I am afraid of their reaction. Above all I am very tensed that it will affect my Imaan. I am afraid that Allah Ta’ala will punish me for that. I don’t want to spoil my aakhirat because of this dunya.
It’s my sincere request to you please respond to me in the light of Quran and Hadith as soon as possible so that I can take any decision.
How should I convince him about it. How should I tell to my parents about this marriage? What should I do in these circumstances. I am not happy at all with his way of living.
Please, please, please, help me. I want to save my aakhirah. Please email me my answer as soon as possible.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister we are sorry to hear about the different difficulties you are experiencing in your marriage.
Indeed the manner in which you have wed your husband was incorrect. To seek the counsel and blessings of your seniors in the matter of marriage was imperative. They are you well-wishers and sincere advisors. When they instructed you with something there was no personal interest or ulterior motive for which they had advised you. Their only desire was that which was in the best interest of their offspring.
One of the main causes of your troubles as is quite clear is your non-compliance with the instructions of your seniors. We suggest you be intelligent and not commit the same mistake twice. It was the misinformation of your seniors that has caused your problems. The only way to get out of this dilemma is through their assistance and guidance. Pluck up the courage and approach your seniors with your problems. They will give you the support and instruction you need. If they do not have the adequate knowledge of what steps to take, then go with them and seek the advice of the Ulama of your area, they should be best equipped to assist you.
You will get beyond this phase in life. Place your reliance on Allah Ta’ala and turn towards Him. We make Dua Allah Ta’ala create an ease from your difficulties and assist you in overcoming your different challenges.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mawlana Ali bin Cassim,
Student Darul Iftaa
Los Angeles, U.S.A
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.