Husband taking a second wife

Q: My husband and I are both reverts. I have no mahram to protect my rights. I found out on Tuesday that my husband has a new wife. It was secret for a few weeks (he claims he can’t remember how long he is married. I estimate 2 weeks to a month) that was Tuesday, and on Thursday he left for a planned 40 day jamaat. As you can imagine, now is the time I need his assurances more than anytime. I am trying to be obedient and accept his new wife. I am really trying hard. But, he let slip that he bought her salaah tops, scarves and tasbeeh. In our whole 5 year marriage, he has never, ever given me a single gift. And he said that his gifts to her don’t include me as it to help her live her live as a Muslim. Is that true? My husband, has told me many lies over the last few weeks, and I asked him multiple times. Does he have a new wife. He repeatedly denied it. He also lied about his repeated 3 days that he had recently. How do I forgive him, and start trusting again? My last, important question. How do I find my Allah again? When I try to pray or make my zikrs or even just speak to my Allah. I feel like there is a door in front of me that I can’t penetrate. I can’t sleep or eat. I am fasting so I can try to be closer to Allah. I am making my salaahs on time. Sir, I love my husband and I want to make it work, and I want to regain my relationship with Allah. I also have to accept her. If I die, she raises my children. And he is threatening to take my children, he is threatening to leave me and take them. If I don’t comply completely with everything he wants. What can I do?


A: You don’t have to forgive him because he has not violated any of your rights. However, it was not right of him to be unfair in the distribution of wealth and time.

Allah is with you always. He has never closed His doors upon you. Don’t pay attention to these stray thoughts and imaginations.

He does not have the right to take away your children. You are responsible for your children.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)