Will Certain Etiquettes During Intercourse Shape One’s Future Children?

Answered according to Shafi'i Fiqh by

Question: 1. Is it true that if a couple talks during intimacy, their child will be born deaf or dumb? 2. Is it true that if a man looks at the private part of his wife during intercourse,  it will weaken the eyesight and memory of the husband? Or will the child have a vision problem? Or will the child be born to be immodest? 3. Can you help me understand this hadith: “When one of you goes in unto his wife, let him be covered, for if he is not covered, the angels feel shy and depart, then if they have a child, the Shayţān will have a share of him.” [al-Tabarānī in al-Mu’jam al-Awsaţ] 4. it is permissible for a male (married or unmarried) to do exercises where he touches his private part to increase its size? Is there any leniency regarding this provided he takes measures to avoid falling into sin?


Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. First, I want to commend you for openly asking about these bedroom issues. One should not be too shy to ask such things for this is the only way to attain correct knowledge in order to practice it and keep away from sin.

Speaking and looking at the wife during intercourse

1-2. The answer to your first two questions is no, these are simply myths or old wive’s tales.

Hadith about covering oneself

3. The hadith that you mention is weak, so one cannot derive a ruling of lawful or unlawful from this. Please see Shaykh Faraz’s advice on modesty during intercourse at this link:

Exercises to increase the size

4. It is not permissible for a man to touch his private part if it will cause an ejaculation. A man should not waste his time doing this nor be preoccupied with thinking about the size of his private part. A man’s private part has nothing to do with how much he can please his wife.

Skills first, not the size

Rather, he should focus on being attentive and learning skills (in having her reach the climax) more than his size. Foreplay is key and the precursor to this is having a loving, kind marriage with mutual friendship and understanding.

May Allah bless your marriage and progeny and give you success and happiness in this world and the next.

Please see this link as well:

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

This answer was collected from It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

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