Answered by Abdul Rahim Reasat
Question
I am a student and my senior peers ask me to write their records and don’t listen when I refuse. I chose to lie to them and said that I am writing someone else’s records and I said the same to my friends so that I don’t seem like a liar. Is that the right thing to do? How do I cope with such situations?
Answer
I pray you are well.
Lying Leads to More Sins
No, this is not the right thing to do, and it clearly bothers you, which is a good thing. Use that remorse and turn back to Allah with tawba and seek forgiveness. Lying leads to further lying and many more sins, as one’s moral compass is affected by it.
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Lying leads to all sorts of wicked deeds, and wicked deeds lead to the Hellfire.” [Bukhari] You don’t want this for yourself.
Stand Up For Yourself
What you have here is a classic case of bullying. Your peers are bullying you, and if you do not stand up for yourself or go to an authority figure the matter will continue.
Bullies work with a method of escalation. If you resist they will escalate the matter. If you meet them head-on they will try to escalate further. When you meet them head-on at a level they cannot escalate from they gain a sense of respect for you, as they usually don’t have the nerve to bully their peers or superiors.
Some people are not able to stand up to bullies. The easiest route for them is to speak to someone of authority, like a teacher or even the police, in extreme cases. This is the best way for the matter to be resolved, and it will save you from sinning through lying or worse.
It might be difficult, but that is the challenge here: taking the means you can to stay away from lying. You might even consider these people to be friends. Trust me-“friendship” with a bully is never a real friendship. It’s an abusive relationship, and you are better off alone than being vulnerable in that situation.
Be firm. Ask Allah for help. Take the means. You’ll be better off for it.
May Allah make things easy for you.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani