Q: I have a question. I was ill since age of 11. I was diagnosed with OCD (Wehem) a psychiatric disease. I was so mentally occupied that three years of my childhood was a nightmare. Again after age of 18 the the disease relapsed and lasted for seven years in one or other form. My father and mother helped me with treatment and care. I had very miserable life. But Allah gave me health and strength. Now I am an engineer. but from the last three years my hairs turned white on head chest and beard. I am young. I felt humiliation and low esteemed throughout after the age of seven. Now I am 32 years old with white hairs. I feel more humiliated. People used to laugh at me by seeing my face which looks older than my age now. I believe that is because of this disease. My disease is almost gone. But my feeling of low self esteem and ugly looks make me angry. I feel why Allah made me like this. I make na-shukri which I don’t want to do. Sometimes I feel so close to Allah and accept this as Allah’s gifts. But sometimes I feel na-shukri very rigidly when someone laughs at my looks with older face, big nose and white hairs. I pray to Allah to help me and give me success in both worlds and make me beautiful and blessed. Please guide me to keep away from this na-shukri and get my black hairs back.
A: Maintain a relationship with some pious mashaayikh. Insha-Allah, Allah willing you will find some mental comfort and ease. Don’t pay attention to stray thoughts. Willingly or unwillingly make shukr.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.