My friend would like to divorce her husband. The reason why she wants to divorce her husband is because; basically she respected her mum’s wishes and got married in Pakistan. She had an arranged marriage and soon afterwards fell pregnant and now has a baby boy as her husband wanted to have a baby straight away,…so she respected what her husband wanted and had a baby, all this time the husband is in Pakistan and she had to go through everything on her own,….
Now her husband has got his visa to come to the UK …………..but now my friend in her head/heart cant imagine living with him as she knows she wont be happy with him plus she finds it very difficult to communicate with him properly he doesn’t understand English, read or write English and its just too much for her.
She met someone else here and well she really likes him now, I don’t know the Islamic side of what she is doing? Would you say it’s wrong in Islam? but I know she dose really love the person she’s met in the UK plus she never wanted to get married in Pakistan. The person she’s met here is a Muslim, he is willing to marry her and except her son as his own so long as she gets a divorce ,..But she dose want to divorce him to be with the other person but she’s scarred of what’s right in Islam.
Do you think her reason for divorcing her husband for the above reasons would they be valid in Islam? She wants to be happy but not make Allah unhappy either! Please answer if you can. Please reply!
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
The first and foremost thing your friend needs to do is, stop any informal contact with the other person with whom (as you mention) she has fallen in love with. Informal interaction with the opposite sex outside of marriage is strictly prohibited in Islam, and she must abstain at once, especially when she is married to another person.
If she has had some sort of illegal relationship with him, then she must repent to Allah Almighty and seek His forgiveness, for He is Most Merciful. Explain to her that Islam totally prohibits Extra-marital affairs and relationships, and that it is a grave sin. Also, this type of unlawful relationship never brings about Baraka and happiness in marriage.
Secondly, in Islam, the right to divorce is the exclusive right of the husband and not the wife’s, for which there are many wisdoms that have been explained in detail in an earlier post on this website. (Check the divorce section)
Therefore, if the sister is unwilling to remain in his marriage whatsoever and she dislikes her husband immeasurably due to chemical reasons, and that this will make it impossible for her and her husband to live a prosperous married life, then, first of all she should seek a divorce from her husband. If her husband willingly divorces her (Islamically or by signing on the legal divorce document), then that would be the best option. Thus, the matter would end there, after which she may marry this other person (after observing the waiting period (idda).
If her husband is unwilling to issue her a divorce, then she may persuade him into entering a Khul’ agreement. Khul’ means “to remove the union of marriage in exchange of a financial settlement with the words of Khul” (Ibn Humam, Fath al-Qadir, 3/1999). Thus, if the sister is able to convince him to give her the divorce in return for a financial payment, then she may do that.
If he is still unwilling to give her a divorce, then the matter may be taken to an Islamic court or council. The council will study the case of the sister and thereafter have the jurisdiction of dissolving the marriage in light of the guidelines set down by the Qur’an and Sunnah.
Finally, I would reiterate that divorce should be avoided as much as possible. It may only be used as a last resort and not considered except after exhausting all avenues in saving the marriage, especially when there is a child involved. At times, one may not see a future with a specific person, but by marrying and living with him, Allah Almighty creates that special bond and love and a lot of good is observed in that particular person. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
“There is nothing that creates more love than marriage.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)
May Allah Almighty guide us all in the right direction, Ameen.
And Allah Knows Best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Leicester , UK