Answered by: Moulana Muhammad Imad Ali
I’m a female who is suffering from severe anxiety and depression due to emotional marriage and divorce from first ex husband but my new husband is good Alhamdulillah although i still have anxiety but im happy with my new husband Alhamdulillah. I’m also trying to become a better person and be more practicing.
The more I read and learn the more my mind plays.
My question is I keep getting waswasa if a wife says to her husband *you are haram upon me* or for me * is this a Talaq???
I learnt that when a man says to his wife your haram for me it is talaq.
I’m in constant worry if I accidentally say this to my husband because I don’t want anything that breaks my marriage.
Please advise me how to get out Of doubt problem and please answer my question. I will appreciate your reply.
I just want to know if woman say anything like that affect marriage or not.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
First and foremost it is only the right of the husband to give his wife Talaq. A woman is not allowed to give Talaq and such a Talaq would not affect the termination of the marriage.
The evidences from the Holy Quran are as follows:
1 “O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them at their prescribed periods.” (Surah Talaq V.1)
2 “So, if the husband divorces his wife, he cannot after that remarries her until after she has married another husband.” (Surah Baqarah v230)
3 “When you divorce women and they fulfil the term of Iddat…” (Surah Baqarah v231)
4 “There is no blame on you if you divorce women before consumption or the fixation of the dower.” (Surah Baqarah v236)
5 “And he is whose hand is the Marriage …” (Surah Baqarah v237)
Secondly regarding waswasa (whisperings of Shaitaan) refers to unfounded and baseless doubts – whispers from Shaitan. Saaiduna Abu Hurairah narrates that the Prophet of Allah said, ‘Allah has forgiven my ummah regarding those waswasas that creep into their hearts so long as they do not act upon them or bring them into their tongues’. (Mishkatul Masaabeeh p.18 v.1)
Shaitan wil try to create waswasas in particular in the hearts of believers, especially in salah by creating worldly thoughts and doubts in it. The musali should be firm and not give into these whispers and thoughts and should not allow the accursed Shaitan to overpower him. (Mazaahirul Haqq p.155 v.1)
The best way to address this problem, in the short term is not to think about it at all, the more you think about it the more it will escalate.
In the long term, you could try the following method to help you overcome waswasa:
You should sit for about 10 minutes every day, close your eyes and think that Allah (SWA) is watching you and his blessings and rahmat is descending to your heart.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Moulana Muhammad Imad Ali
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham