Haraam relationship

Q: My question is not straight forward but I’ll try to make it as concise as possible. I am 18 years old and when I joined college 2 years ago I got to know this person. We started to like each other, he is very God-fearing so he asked me to marry him and make it a halaal relationship for us to be in. So I spoke to my mother and she said she would do something about it and here I am 2 years later hoping for her to still do something. As I am Pakistani love marriages are rare in our culture so my mother did not tell anyone that it is a love proposal. She told her parents and my father that we received a proposal from his foster parents. And because this is the the first proposal they have received they are taking it really lightly and I am not able to do anything other than talk to my mother and ask her to do something but I have tried so hard to convince her she isn’t doing anything about it. The person I want to marry is very pious and kind alhamdulilah and his family are as well. I don’t know what to do I do not want to be in a haram relationship of any sort because I have only just started to realise the meaning of life and he is the reason I am a better person today. How do I convince my mother, what shall I say to her?


A: When you start off in a haraam way it is natural for you to end up in grief and pain. The first wrong was for a woman to leave the home to attend college or university and then to get involved in a haraam illicit relationship is the second wrong. For your foolishness your mother cannot be held responsible, although it was her naivety that she had sent you to a haraam place. My suggestion is to make taubah for all this wrong and leave your affair to your parents. Let them decide what is most suitable for you.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)