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Taking care of one’s stepson

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I married my husband and he has a son from his previous marriage. His son’s biological mother is still alive, and when he was 8 years old, his father took him from his mother and since then he never saw his mother. With years we had two children on our own and my stepson is living with us.

My husband is away and I do most of the expenses, taking care of the three children. My husband sends me very little because his son is staying with me. I have to say, things are not very good between me and my stepson. And my husband always takes his side. I feel he doesn’t give me the dignity as a wife and my marriage is falling apart, because of this I try my best to keep a good relationship with my stepson, but I can’t love him as I love my own children and I really feel bad for him. And on good terms with my husband because we have 2 children. But I’m not happy.

My question is, can my stepson see his mom because his father has never allow him to do so? And what are my duties to him and my husband. All the responsibility is on my shoulder. And sometimes I want to divorce. Can I ask my stepson to leave. Please help me be because I want my stepson to be happy as well. 


A: Yes, he should not cut off ties with his mother.

It is not right for your husband to burden you with his responsibility. Though, it is not your duty to take care of his son, if you assist him and take care of his son, you will be greatly rewarded by Allah Ta’ala.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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