Answered by: Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
My brother got married less than a year ago. Throughout this time his wife was truly stressing him out as he had work to do and a loan to pay however his wife always just wanted him to take her out and spend his money on him- even though he had to work a lot he still put aside time to take her out whenever he had the chance. He and his wife lived in the house of the family of the grooms and she always boasted about how bored she was and how she wanted to see her family 24/7, – we let her see them at least twice a month- as they lived in a different city and it was difficult to keep travelling and spend up to a week with them day and night- however, never appreciated this from our family. When she would be at home while her husband was at work she would very rarely help with any work at home and my mum never asked of much however she had a knee problem; finding it difficult to work a lot, and the rest of us would be at school so we couldn’t be there to help- however my sister in law would be at home as she didn’t want to go out and work- she would very rarely help; however the groom’s mother did not mind this but the groom did want her to help out, and she did not listen.
The groom wanted her to feel as though his family was her family but she always looked at them as though they were nothing and lived in his family house as though it was a hotel. She would never listen to him either and cause fights over minor things. The bride would also take family problems or events from our house to her parent’s house and tell them about it- causing problems for our family and would not stop this. Her brother also tried to get involved in the relationship between the groom and bride, however, he stopped after a while and her mother started to get involved; causing more trouble for the groom and wife.
The groom had been very ill and in the hospital for over a week, this day I was at home and my sister in law had asked my grandma many times if she could go out however my grandma told her told wait and ask my mother as she was outside. My sister in law then got angry and went upstairs and called her mother- her mother then called my home number and wanted to speak to grandma – she then started to get aggressive and rude to my grandma because apparently, my grandma was rude to her daughter?
My mum came home during this phone call. 5 mins had gone on and my mother called down my sister in law and asked why she had done that- she had given attitude and slammed the door and then a few minutes later left the house- we thought she may have gone to see her husband at the hospital which we thought was okay but an hour later called my brother and asked him and he said no- she is not here. We then found out that she had gone back to her parent’s house without the permission of her husband and had taken the gold that we had given her (the dowry) and left everything else she has not spoken to her husband ever since or contacted him at all. She had sent down men to our house who were about to break our windows because we were not opening the doors and they were slamming them. And then got the police involved however we believe that since the husband was at no wrong in the situation and never hit or abused his wife in anyways he should regain the dowry which they are not returning. So my question is if she took the gold and left- and asked for a divorce who gets the gold? Or if my brother asked for a divorce and he was not at fault for any of this who gets the gold?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
If the gold was considered to be part of the dowry then in that situation the wife will be entitled to take it at the time of divorce on the condition there was the consummation of the marriage or the very least seclusion (khalwat).
If the gold was not considered to be part of the dowry but was given to the wife as a gift then this too will be considered to be in her ownership and in the event of a divorce she will be entitled to it.
Only Allah knows best.
Answered by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham