Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabaraktuhu,
This is regarding a nikkah related issue I have been facing. I am 27 years old practising sunni muslim alhamdulilah. My family is also very religious alhamdulilah. We all have believe and spend time in tabligh work alhamdulilah and will continue to do so inshaAllah.
I like a girl and want to do nikkah with her inshaAllah. She is 23 years old not so practising muslim but from what I have seen/known, her aqeedah is correct, prays five times, fasts, covers her body as it is supposed to except head, but has intention to become more religious and also cover her head in future inshaAllah.
The problem is that the girl’s dad is shia but mom is sunni alhamdulilah. Since childhood her mom has been teaching her everything islamic so her beliefs are totally sunni. Her dad has not taught her anything as he is not so religious hence she is not aware of the shia concepts. Moreover, their parents have no issues with the marriage and have clearly stated that they would not intefere in religious matters after nikkah, and she can follow whatever she wants.
Now, I consider her completely sunni from what all I have known and seen her do and that she does not know about shiaism anything. Moreover, on so many occasions for the past one year I have been asking her questions related to the shiaism concepts that bother me, to name a few:
Do you believe in the completeness of quran?
Do you believe in the prophet s.a.w? Do you believe that prophet s.a.w was the last prophet and messenger of Allah s.w.t? And that the status of prophets is highest and higher than any other people on earth in the pst, present and future?
Do you respect all companions of prophet s.a.w. equally?And do not curse them or think bad about them nor call them hypocrites?
These were to name a few. Most of the things she did not even know, rest she said yes I do believe and so does my family. Also, I have already made many things clear. It is made clear and she is willing and happily ready to learn from me more and follow the way I do things(sunni beliefs)after nikkah inshaAllah. Also this has been made clear that our children will do the same too inshaAllah. Apart from the beliefs, she is a very nice girl as in nature wise, she wants to take care of my parents, very sweet to my family and likes me a lot. I have already introduced her to my family and told her want to marry her. My family also likes her alot as in person(nature-caring,loving,obedient). She knows about me going in jamats, will come too inshaAllah as in masturat jamats later. She has started dressing more appropriately, avoids mix gatherings with frnds at school, and doing all that I asked her to do alhamdulilah, ofcourse willingly after I explained to her what does islam say, how does islam ask us to dress etc etc.
But now, my parents do not want to do my nikkah with her as her dad is shia. And they think that if they do my nikkah, they are doing a sin and hence would be in great trouble and questionable on the day of judgement. Infact they also say that her parents marriage is invalid too.They know we both like each other a lot, and I have told them the girl’s beliefs right now and intentions after nikkah and how I clear it is that she is not shia and will never become one either inshaAllah. I am trying to convince them but now they are saying that you can go ahead do nikkah with her we have no issues but we wont be a part of the nikkah.
Please advice Mufti sahab as I do not know what to do. I do not want to hurt my parents and also want to marry the girl. It is very hard to avoid the haram interactions(may Allah forgive us for all the mistakes we have done and keep us steadfast on the right path inshaAllah and always bless us with with his blessings and love and protect us from his wrath and anger.ameen.) so we are trying to hasten up things as we want to make this relationship halal as soon as possible.We have talked to our parents to speed up things and her parents are ready to do nikkah soon inshaAllah once my parents talk to hers. Also, intially her parents wanted to do her nikkah after graduation which would be probably couple of years from now, but due to her daughter insisting so much and exlaining to them that how this relationship is haram and would only lead to the anger of Allah swt, they are ready to do it soon inshaAllah.
JazakAllah khair
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
At the outset, we take note that you understand that it Haram to have interactions with the girl in reference as both of you are Ghair Mahram (not Haram in marriage) to each other. Adopt all necessary measures to restrict yourself from interacting with her in the future.
Furthermore, marriage is a very important step in one’s life, it is a lifetime commitment in which a long-term relationship is established as a family, as a means of bringing comfort and joy to both spouses and raising righteous Muslim children. One will enjoy a blissful marriage in choosing a righteous spouse with correct beliefs and good conduct. If one marries such a spouse who holds wrong beliefs or bad conduct, then this will lead to having grief, remorse and constant turbulence in the marriage.
Moreover, both spouses have influence over each other, having a spouse with correct traits and beliefs will have a positive effect on one’s self and children. Conversely, if the spouse holds wrong traits and beliefs, there is a fear of one adopting such beliefs from the spouse and subsequently, the children will inculcate such beliefs as well.
You state that you have ascertained that her ‘Aqeedah, beliefs, and practices are in line with the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama’ah (Sunni) as her mother was a Sunni and taught her everything. It is suitable to marry a girl of this nature and not Haram to do so.
Your parents also the raise the issue in regards to validity of the marriage of her parents as her mother is a Sunni and her father is a Shia. There are many different sects of Shia. Some sects are considered Muslims. Thus, a blanket ruling of invalidity cannot be given to all Sunni-Shia marriages as it is permissible to marry some (e.g. the Tafdheelis) although it is not encouraged as a measure of precaution. However, this will not affect the validity of your marriage with the girl in reference.[1]
You state that your parents do not have in issue with the Nikah yet do not want to take part. Continue to make an effort in making them understand that this is good for both of you. Ask them to make Du’aa for you and your marriage to be fruitful and fulfilling.
Lastly, make Istikhara and also you may make Du’aa to Allah to make that girl your wife if she is good for you according to the perfect knowledge of Allah.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Abdullah ibn Mohammed Aijaz
Student Darul Iftaa
Baltimore, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.