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How Should We Greet Women in Our Family?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by DarulIftaBirmingham

Answered by: Alimah Sofia Mirza


I have a few questions regarding interactions within the family as we are not adequately educated.

Firstly how should we greet women in our family, often when greeting we shake hands and hug and sometimes even receive a kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips (sealed lips/no saliva)

Also when getting together sometimes they wear low neck tops/dresses which expose a big part of the chest and sometimes even thin and light clothing without a bra. This is very inappropriate and at times my gaze falls there as they sit or bend down. These situations are hard to avoid as in the family home due to space we are always intermingled. How can I stop this as I know this is wrong? Do I need to stop all interactions with my family?

It is time for me to get married soon and I want to marry someone who is practising/wears hijab etc., but my family disapproves and wants someone โ€˜modernโ€™ and more westernised. How can I change their mind on this matter?

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful


Firstly, it is not permissible to touch another woman who is not your Mahram or look at her unnecessarily even if they are within the family like cousins or in-laws. Touching the hands or limbs should be avoided unless they are very elderly by which there is no lust from both sides but even then, it should be avoided.1 If they are your mahram such as your aunty or sister it will be permissible to shake their hand or kiss their cheek out of affection if there is no fear of lust or corruption.

Secondly, a woman should not be wearing too tight clothes that are stuck to the figure or see-through clothing or revealing clothing even if it is in front of the mahram like brothers.2 If the women are wearing appropriate clothing and sometimes due to working or moving around the body gets exposed in some areas it is best to lower your gaze instead of not mixing within the family or tell them kindly if it is appropriate.

Thirdly the best method to explain to your family would be through communicating with them and explaining to them the reasons for which making duaa.

Only Allah knows best

Written by Alimah Sofia Mirza

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

1 Raddul Muhtaar, Darul Fikr Beirut. Vol 6, Pg.368

ูˆูŽุฅูู†ู’ ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽุชู’ ุนูŽุฌููˆุฒู‹ุง ู„ูŽุง ุชูŽุดู’ุชูŽู‡ููŠุŒ ููŽู„ูŽุง ุจูŽุฃู’ุณูŽ ุจูู…ูุตูŽุงููŽุญูŽุชูู‡ูŽุง ุฃูŽูˆู’ ู…ูŽุณูู‘ ูŠูŽุฏูู‡ูŽุงุŒ ูˆูŽูƒูŽุฐูŽู„ููƒูŽ ุฅุฐูŽุง ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽ ุดูŽูŠู’ุฎู‹ุง ูŠูŽุฃู’ู…ูŽู†ู ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู†ูŽูู’ุณูู‡ู ูˆูŽุนูŽู„ูŽูŠู’ู‡ูŽุง ููŽู„ูŽุง ุจูŽุฃู’ุณูŽ ุฃูŽู†ู’ ูŠูุตูŽุงููุญูŽู‡ูŽุง ูˆูŽุฅูู†ู’ ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽ ู„ูŽุง ูŠูŽุฃู’ู…ูŽู†ู ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู†ูŽูู’ุณูู‡ู ุฃูŽูˆู’ ุนูŽู„ูŽูŠู’ู‡ูŽุง ููŽู„ู’ูŠูŽุฌู’ุชูŽู†ูุจู’ุŒ ุซูู…ูŽู‘ ุฅู†ูŽู‘ ู…ูุญูŽู…ูŽู‘ุฏู‹ุง ุฃูŽุจูŽุงุญูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูŽุณูŽู‘ ู„ูู„ุฑูŽู‘ุฌูู„ู ุฅุฐูŽุง ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽุชู’ ุงู„ู’ู…ูŽุฑู’ุฃูŽุฉู ุนูŽุฌููˆุฒู‹ุง ูˆูŽู„ูŽู…ู’ ูŠูŽุดู’ุชูŽุฑูุทู’ ูƒูŽูˆู’ู†ูŽ ุงู„ุฑูŽู‘ุฌูู„ู ุจูุญูŽุงู„ู ู„ูŽุง ูŠูุฌูŽุงู…ูุนู ู…ูุซู’ู„ูู‡ูุŒ ูˆูŽูููŠู…ูŽุง ุฅุฐูŽุง ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูŽุงุณูู‘ ู‡ููŠูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูŽุฑู’ุฃูŽุฉู ููŽุฅูู†ู’ ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽุง ูƒูŽุจููŠุฑูŽูŠู’ู†ู ู„ูŽุง ูŠูุฌูŽุงู…ูุนู ู…ูุซู’ู„ูู‡ูุŒ ูˆูŽู„ูŽุง ูŠูุฌูŽุงู…ูŽุนู ู…ูุซู’ู„ูู‡ูŽุง ููŽู„ูŽุง ุจูŽุฃู’ุณูŽ ุจูุงู„ู’ู…ูุตูŽุงููŽุญูŽุฉู ููŽู„ู’ูŠูุชูŽุฃูŽู…ูŽู‘ู„ู’ ุนูู†ู’ุฏูŽ ุงู„ู’ููŽุชู’ูˆูŽู‰

2 Ibid, Pg. 366

ย ู…ูููŽุงุฏูู‡ู ุฃูŽู†ูŽู‘ ุฑูุคู’ูŠูŽุฉูŽ ุงู„ุซูŽู‘ูˆู’ุจู ุจูุญูŽูŠู’ุซู ูŠูŽุตููู ุญูŽุฌู’ู…ูŽ ุงู„ู’ุนูุถู’ูˆู ู…ูŽู…ู’ู†ููˆุนูŽุฉูŒ ูˆูŽู„ูŽูˆู’ ูƒูŽุซููŠูู‹ุง ู„ูŽุง ุชูุฑูŽู‰ ุงู„ู’ุจูŽุดูŽุฑูŽุฉู ู…ูู†ู’ู‡ูุŒ ู‚ูŽุงู„ูŽ ูููŠ ุงู„ู’ู…ูุบู’ุฑูุจู ูŠูู‚ูŽุงู„ู ู…ูŽุณูุณู’ุช ุงู„ู’ุญูุจู’ู„ูŽู‰ุŒ ููŽูˆูŽุฌูŽุฏู’ุช ุญูŽุฌู’ู…ูŽ ุงู„ุตูŽู‘ุจููŠูŽู‘ ูููŠ ุจูŽุทู’ู†ูู‡ูŽุง ูˆูŽุฃูŽุญู’ุฌูŽู…ูŽ ุงู„ุซูŽู‘ุฏู’ูŠู ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู†ูŽุญู’ุฑู ุงู„ู’ุฌูŽุงุฑููŠูŽุฉู ุฅุฐูŽุง ู†ูŽู‡ูŽุฒูŽุŒ ูˆูŽุญูŽู‚ููŠู‚ูŽุชูู‡ู ุตูŽุงุฑูŽ ู„ูŽู‡ู ุญูŽุฌู’ู…ูŒ ุฃูŽูŠู’ ู†ูุชููˆูŒู‘ ูˆูŽุงุฑู’ุชูููŽุงุนูŒ ูˆูŽู…ูู†ู’ู‡ู ู‚ูŽูˆู’ู„ูู‡ู ุญูŽุชูŽู‘ู‰ ูŠูŽุชูŽุจูŽูŠูŽู‘ู†ูŽ ุญูŽุฌู’ู…ู ุนูุธูŽุงู…ูู‡ูŽุง ุงู‡ู€ ูˆูŽุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู‡ูŽุฐูŽุง ู„ูŽุง ูŠูŽุญูู„ูู‘ ุงู„ู†ูŽู‘ุธูŽุฑู ุฅู„ูŽู‰ ุนูŽูˆู’ุฑูŽุฉู ุบูŽูŠู’ุฑูู‡ู ููŽูˆู’ู‚ูŽ ุซูŽูˆู’ุจู ู…ูู„ู’ุชูŽุฒูู‚ู ุจูู‡ูŽุง ูŠูŽุตููู ุญูŽุฌู’ู…ูŽู‡ูŽุง ููŽูŠูุญู’ู…ูŽู„ู ู…ูŽุง ู…ูŽุฑูŽู‘ ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู…ูŽุง ุฅุฐูŽุง ู„ูŽู…ู’ ูŠูŽุตููู’ ุญูŽุฌู’ู…ูŽู‡ูŽุง ููŽู„ู’ูŠูุชูŽุฃูŽู…ูŽู‘ู„ู’

This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.

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