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Why is it emphasized to consummate the marriage before the walima? What about the underlying fe

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Qibla.com

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Why is it emphasized to consummate the marriage before the walima? What about the underlying fear of physical relations that many have? What about the shyness? What about cases of trauma because of past abuse?

Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

 

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate

May Allah’s peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad, his folk, companions, and followers

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

It is a recommended sunna, not obligatory, to consummate the marriage before the walima (the post-marriage celebration).

The sunna of consummating the marriage before the walima has a number of wisdoms. Among these are to assist both spouses–especially the wife–to get over unease and fear through the weight of expectation. Likewise, the understanding that both spouses have the religious duty to fulfill their spouse’s physical needs serves this wisdom, among others.

However, in cases where there is serious trauma due to past sexual abuse or the like, the spouses should talk things through and seek viable solutions–such as a mutually agreed-upon plan of gradually overcoming the trauma by taking things ‘a step at a time’, for example. There is good literature available on such matters. If this does not appear to work–or the case’s gravity is beyond the couple’s ability to resolve–then counseling should be sought.

 

See also:

Marriage: How to perform the nikah according to the sunna in the Hanafi school

The Fiqh of Walimas

 

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,
Faraz Rabbani

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