Is using Neuro-linguistic programming permissible when speaking to ones wife?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by DarulIftaBirmingham

Answered by: Aalimah Siddiqa al-Farsiyyah


Asalam Alaikum

I would like to know can I speak to my wife by implanting thoughts in her mind to love me without her realizing this consciously to improve my marriage.

These techniques are taught in NLP Neuro-linguistic programming which teaches people how to use language to influence others by saying a sentence in a way where you are telling the mind what to do. These are used in sales etc

FOr e.g instead of saying you should love me, I said to her you can feel yourself loving me more and more now.

Is this permissible for me to do?


بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

The activity seems absolutely harmless. As principal, in our Shari’ah, everything is in a neutral state (mubah), in other words; permissible, until and unless an explicit text in the Shari’ah states otherwise.

Also, this activity doesn’t seem to include anything that might lead to the crossing of Shari’ah’s borders, therefore, it is permissible for you to do this.

Alongside that, I advise you to make du’a to Allah Ta’ala to develop the love between your wife and yourself as your matter is in the hands of Allah Ta’ala Himself and nothing can be better than making du’a from He who is in control of your affairs: Allah Ta’ala himself.

And Allah Ta’ala knows best

Answered by Alimah Siddiqa al-Farsiyyah

Checked and approved by Mufti Tosir Miah

DarulIfta Birmingham

This answer was collected from, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.

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