I have been married to my husband for 6 years and we have one child together. He has three kids from his previous wife who he divorced after he married me, they were already seperated when he met me. I married him because i thought he was an honest and practicing muslim but the whole time i have been married to him he has been talking to other women on the internet for the 6 years of our marriage and he married again for a short period but that woman left him because he lied to her and didn’t tell her about me. When i was pregnant he tried marrying again and that didn’t work for him either. He constantly says he wants to get married in the future again and that if i can not have more kids then he will have with another woman. He has a lot of legal problems as well, i have been with him the whole time and found out that he constantly use to marry other women before in his previous marriage to the mother of his 3 kids and that led his previous wife to leave him.
We are not living in a time where second marriages are easy and practicle…i see his three kids from his x wife affected by the divorce and no one is giving them any guidence or tarbiya, he just wants more kids and women in his life and does not want to take the responsibilty of doing their tarbiya or taking care of their needs. I help look after his kids and clean their dishes and fend after them when they come over every weekend and the holidays, i am very insecure with this man as i know he has a habit of remarrying and not fulfilling his responsibilties.
I have told him that i dont want my daughter affected by his decisions on how he wants to fulfil his selfish desires and i have asked him to tell me if he intends to remarry then i want to take my child and leave before she gets older and sees me and him in a worse circumstance when he decides to bring a new woman home. I can’t even face his other three kids, they already have a bad opinion of him because of their mom amf i don’t want my daughter to think her father is bad, what should i do?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We pray to Allah Ta’ala that Allah alleviate your problems.
We would advise that you talk to a respected member of your husband’s family regarding your husband’s attitude. Exhaust all avenues to ensure that your husband understands the seriousness of his actions.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Blackburn, England, UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
الفتاوى التاترخانية للأندربتي (d.786 AH) (360/4) مكتبة زكريا