Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam
Question: Assalamu Alaikum wa ramatulahi wa bakaratu.
My fiance and I have been engaged for couple of years now. We haven’t married years due to his incarceration and related certain procedures that must be followed. We have a deep love for each other and we are determined to get married even though the process has been long and hard.
We have never been physically intimate with each other, however we do masturbate while thinking of the other.
After Allah makes a way for us to marry, would it be halal for us to go back to masturbating to the thought of one another?
Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray that this finds you in the best of health and spirits, insha’Allah.
No, masturbation is impermissible. It is not permitted to masturbate oneself.
It is natural to have a desire for physical contact, however, such contact is unlawful until there is a legally valid marriage contract. Thus, you should do everything within you ability to lower your desires– fasting, guarding the gaze and thoughts, staying away from all forms of unlawfulness, and most importantly, asking Allah to grant you control, patience, and to open up a quick way for you to marry. See: A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Allah Most High says, “And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will grant them a way out, and will provide for them in ways unimagined. And whoever places their trust in Allah, then Allah is their sufficiency. Allah’s affair will surely come to pass–and Allah has made a clear decree for everything.” [Qur’an, 65. 2-3] Leave the unlawful, and Allah will open up for you a way to the lawful. Taqwa comes first. Then the opening.
See also: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation and: Supplications for Stopping Masturbation
And Allah alone gives success.
wassalam,
Tabraze Azam
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani