Q: I need guidance on my marriage which I am not sure if nikah is still valid or not. May Allah Ta’ala grant you full Jaza khair for your help in deen to the ummah Ameen.
My marriage started 8 years ago where I wanted to lead a life keeping Allah Ta’ala and His pleasure as my priority. Faced a lot of problems from in law’s side from start of the marriage till now. I live in London and follow an Islamic attire whilst the family I married was from sub continent where modern clothes of today’s times are preferred. The short and long of it is that my wife (or ex wife as I don’t know) has said ‘kufriya kalimat’ like she doesn’t believe in shariat or she will not follow what is in Islam because it doesn’t sit with today’s times or even at a point she said leave matters to me I will deal with Allah Ta’ala when it comes to it don’t tell me what is right in deen and what is wrong etc. She also has been to sooth sayers and fortune tellers seeking knowledge of future and continuing to do it.
Secondly, she used to wear niqab. She started doing that after many weeks of targheeb and taleem. Her sisters had managed to persuade her not to live like a molvi! We had arguments and she expressed her anger towards the deen and said she wanted to remove niqab because in London we should be integrating into the society. Kids are growing and they ask me questions why do I wear the face cover etc. Despite me educating her and kids she remained adamant to remove niqab. I said to her once that if you do remove niqab I.e. live a life without niqab the you are free from me meaning she is not going to remain my wife. She has now started to live without niqab and continue to do so. My question here is also that is our nikah now invalid and due to her continuing to be without niqab and breaking of my condition. The ‘kufriya kalimat’ which she has uttered and continues to believe in her ways, where would this whole marriage stands.
Also to add, I have felt the lack of barakah in life, in rizq and work in fact in the entire life dealings going downhill when I am with her and when I am away from her with a life of zikar, tilawat of Quran, tahajjud etc with taufiq if Allah Ta’ala, life feels back on track and help of Allah Ta’ala becomes feel able. Also to add that previously I had given one talaq and then had ruju’a to resume marriage. There also has been one occasion when our son was only one and she wanted to leave the house forever due to not liking the lifestyle where I had said that if you step outside this house then this marriage is null and void and you would be free to go. Things had calmed down later that day but indeed she had to leave the house and go out for various reasons. Would that also have triggered the talaq? I am not living with her anymore due to serious issues becoming unsolvable. She wants to live a liberal life and I cannot go against the commands of Allah Ta’ala. I apologise for a any inconvenience due to my email or writing style. Can I seek a clarification that is this nikah or marriage still intact or there is nothing there anymore. We are now living our own lives. I still see the kids and have been treating their mother as my non mahram.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)