Answered by: Maulana Nazrul Islam
Asalamualikum Mufti saab, I’ve been staying away from the sin of masturbating for some time Alhamdulilah, but this week I’ve been getting thoughts I committed the sin of masturbating, I keep getting doubt that I committed it, I have got engaged recently and do get very weird thoughts regarding my mother-in-law etc, I feel very down, I have been searching for guidance on this, I feel like I might have committed the sin, I was aware of the sperm coming out, but don’t know if I really masturbated or was it a dream. My inner self (nafs) keeps saying I did it, and from the past, I know it just wants me to go back to it? But I don’t want to, so I get bombarded by dirty thoughts about people who are close to me, that’s my very big weakness, I feel down and very sad, I just need a cure for this, because before I used to masturbate by making a movement of my private parts and causing friction with my mattress, but now I have stopped for a long time, but now this stupid thought which makes me paranoid keeps popping up that I must have ejaculated by me causing friction with my mattress and I feel proper down. So this doubt happens to me quite a lot but this time it’s very bad, it’s like I’m getting forced into going to the bad days again, as I said I’ve just got engaged and I get filthy thoughts regarding my mother-in-law etc, I don’t know why this happens to me after a good thing occurs, I thought that you can help me.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
May Allah keep you steadfast in keeping away from sins.
عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ الْغِفَارِيِّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ “ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَجَاوَزَ عَنْ أُمَّتِي الْخَطَأَ وَالنِّسْيَانَ وَمَا اسْتُكْرِهُوا عَلَيْهِ ” .
It was narrated from Abu Dharr Al-Ghifari that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Allah has forgiven for me my nation their mistakes, forgetfulness, and what they are forced to do. Sunan Ibn Majah 2043
If you’re not sure if you’ve engaged in sin or not, make Istighfar (seek Allah’s forgiveness) and try your best to let go of that thought.
وَعَن عبد الله بن يسر قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «طُوبَى لِمَنْ وَجَدَ فِي صَحِيفَتِهِ اسْتِغْفَارًا كَثِيرًا» . رَوَاهُ ابْنُ مَاجَهْ وَرَوَى النَّسَائِيُّ فِي «عملِ يَوْم وَلَيْلَة»
Abdallah b. Busr reported the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “Blessed is he who finds a great amount of asking for pardon in his record.” Sunan Ibn Majah 3818
Always keep good company and surround yourself with righteous people, people who remind you of Allah and the hereafter etc.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَكُونُوا مَعَ الصَّادِقِينَ
O you who believe, fear Allah and be in the company of the truthful. (The truthful people here also refers to righteous people)
Surah At-Taubah 119
وعن أبي سعيد سعد بن مالك بن سنان الخدري رضي الله عنه أن نبي الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: “ كان فيمن كان قبلكم رجل قتل تسعة وتسعين نفساً، فسأل عن أعلم أهل الأرض، فدل على راهب، فأتاه فقال: إنه قتل تسعه وتسعين نفساً، فهل له من توبة؟ فقال: لا، فقتله فكمل به مائةً، ثم سأل عن أعلم أهل الأرض، فدل على رجل عالم فقال: إنه قتل مائة نفس فهل له من توبة؟ فقال: نعم، ومن يحول بينه وبين التوبة؟ انطلق إلى أرض كذا وكذا، فإن بها أناساً يعبدون الله تعالى فاعبد الله معهم، ولا ترجع إلى أرضك فإنها أرض سوءٍ، فانطلق حتى إذا نصف الطريق أتاه الموت، فاختصمت فيه ملائكة الرحمة وملائكة العذاب. فقالت ملائكة الرحمة: جاء تائبا مقبلا بقلبه إلى الله تعالى، وقالت ملائكة العذاب: إنه لم يعمل خيرا قط، فأتاهم ملك في صورة آدمي فجعلوه بينهم- أي حكماً- فقال: قيسوا ما بين الأرضين فإلى أيتهما كان أدنى فهو له، فقاسوا فوجدوه أدنى إلى الأرض التي أراد، فقبضته ملائكة الرحمة” ((متفق عليه)).
Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Prophet of Allah (ﷺ) said: “There was a man from among a nation before you who killed ninety-nine people and then made an inquiry about the most learned person on the earth. He was directed to a monk. He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the negative and the man killed him also completing one hundred. He then asked about the most learned man on the earth. He was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the affirmative and asked, ‘Who stands between you and repentance? Go to such and such land; there (you will find) people devoted to prayer and worship of Allah, join them in worship, and do not come back to your land because it is an evil place.’ So he went away and hardly had he covered half the distance when death overtook him, and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of torment. The angels of mercy pleaded, ‘This man has come with a repenting heart to Allah,’ and the angels of punishment argued, ‘He never did a virtuous deed in his life.’ Then there appeared another angel in the form of a human being and the contending angels agreed to make him arbiter between them. He said, ‘Measure the distance between the two lands. He will be considered belonging to the land to which he is nearer.’ They measured and found him closer to the land (land of piety) where he intended to go, and so the angels of mercy collected his soul”. Bukhari and Muslim and Riyad as-Salihin 20
Also, keep optional fasts to get rid of this bad habit of masturbation and pray Tahajjud at right (optional prayer at night).
عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ، قَالَ دَخَلْتُ مَعَ عَلْقَمَةَ وَالأَسْوَدِ عَلَى عَبْدِ اللَّهِ فَقَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم شَبَابًا لاَ نَجِدُ شَيْئًا فَقَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهُ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ، وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ”.
Abdullah رضي الله عنه said;
We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were young and had no wealth. So Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.” Sahih al-Bukhari 5066
In regards to thoughts about your future mother-in-law, do not entertain those thoughts if they come. Try your best not to be in seclusion with her or anyone you have thoughts about.
There is something called Hurmat Musaharah (the daughters, sons, fathers, and mothers become impermissible by having sexual, or lustful physical contact).
If a person touched his mother in law’s body with lust (i.e directly without any veil in between), Hurmat Musahrah will be established and the nikah (marriage) with his wife will automatically terminate.
You should be extremely careful around people you have lustful thoughts about.
In Fatawa Hindiyyah it is mentioned that; there’s no difference in the establishment of Hurmat (impermissibly) even if the lustful physical contact takes place by mistake, forgetfulness or on purpose.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Maulana Nazrul Islam
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
(١)وَكَمَا تَثْبُتُ هَذِهِ الْحُرْمَةُ بِالْوَطْءِ تَثْبُتُ بِالْمَسِّ وَالتَّقْبِيلِ وَالنَّظَرِ إلَى الْفَرْجِ بِشَهْوَةٍ، كَذَا فِي الذَّخِيرَةِ. سَوَاءٌ كَانَ بِنِكَاحٍ أَوْ مِلْكٍ أَوْ فُجُورٍ عِنْدَنَا، كَذَا فِي الْمُلْتَقَطِ.
ثُمَّ لَا فَرْقَ فِي ثُبُوتِ الْحُرْمَةِ بِالْمَسِّ بَيْنَ كَوْنِهِ عَامِدًا أَوْ نَاسِيًا أَوْ مُكْرَهًا أَوْ مُخْطِئًا، كَذَا فِي فَتْحِ الْقَدِيرِ
الفتاوى الهندية ج١، ص٢٧٤، المطبعة الكبرى الأميرية ببولاق مصر