Answered by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
If I am in the cooling of period now but I do know in my heart that I don’t intend to go back to my husband. Is it fair to still allow him to win me back
It is written in the books of Fiqh that a woman who has been given a revocable Talaq (Talaq Rajee), it is desirable for her to beautify and adorn herself so that the husband can revoke the Talaq and take her back. (Mukhtasar Quduuri p.150)
Regarding your situation, it is desirable to give your husband the possibility of revoking the Talaq and taking you back, however, if you in your heart of hearts don’t want to go back then you are permitted to abstain from beautifying yourself as the aforementioned ruling is based on desirability.
In spite of all that your husband during your waiting period has a right to take you back and revoke the divorce whether you consent to it or not. (Bahrur Raaiq P.50 V.4)
The jurists have listed two ways of effecting rujuu, one by speech and the other by action. It is more praiseworthy to make rujuu by speech rather than action. (Raddul Muhtar p.24 V.5)
To effect a rujuu by speech the husband can say, “I have taken you back”, or “I have retained you”. Rujuu will be effected whether the wife is in front of him or not, however where the wife is not present it is best to have two witnesses. (Raddul Muhtar p.25 V.5)
The jurists have placed the condition of there being lust and desire on the part of either the husband or wife if rujuu is initiated by action. If there is no desire then rujuu is not affected. Therefore, to touch the wife, have intercourse with her, to kiss her including her face, forehead and lips and also to touch her with or without an intervening cloth where the heat of the body is felt with desire, will effect rujuu. (Ibid)
It should be borne in mind that revoking the Talaq is permissible if your husband gave you one or two revocable Talaqs. If your husband gave you three Talaqs or one irrevocable Talaq then it is not possible for him to do rujuu by speech or action. The relationship between the husband and wife becomes haraam after the issuing of three Talaqs or one irrevocable Talaq. (Fatawa Hindiyyah p.472 V.1)
Only Allah Knows Best
Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.