Q: Due to reasons, my husband told me that if he stops me from meeting or talking to my ex-husband then I am divorced (we have doubts whether he said ‘divorced’ once or thrice; we both do not remember). The last time when I wanted to invite my ex to our home my husband said that I do not give you permission to invite him home. Those that constitute divorce?
A. By telling you that you are divorced if he stops you from meeting with your ex-husband, your husband had given you a suspended Talaaq. When he refused permission for your ex-husband to come home, one Talaaq had fallen. Since you are doubtful as to whether he said one Talaaq or three, it will be considered as only one, because Talaaq does not occur if the wording is uncertain or doubtful.
Also note that it is Haraam for you to meet and speak to your ex-husband because the two of you are strangers. In meeting and conversing, there is a danger of Zina because of your past relationship.
Mufti Siraj Desai