I believe marriage is destiny & everything, but I still believe there is something wrong with me. I am 32 years old, very well educated, and have been always told I am a very good looking and el hamdullelah. I got engaged twice, and it didn?t work out, and I got into a severe depression after it. I do my prayers, I take religions lessons and Hefz Quraan, but I can certainly assure you I was not the reason 4 break, but fate played its strange role, even though b4 the 2 engagements I was praying istikhara. hird one coming too close to engagement, e broke He was very impressed by me, wanting to see me and be with me all the time, made all the plans about marriage and was every day telling me our relationship is growing fast and positive, he told his family and friends and asked me to tell my parents, then suddenly within 2 days he said he is uncertain about his feelings, and he doesn’t know what happened to him, he completely changed and felt he doesn’t miss me or is attached to me as if a spell was made on him, please note the guy doesn’t have financial reasons and has a very good career. I want to know why is this happening to me, whenever I get close to marriage something happens out of no where and stops the marriage. I am feeling so down again not knowing the reason for all this. I made istikhara when I met this recent guy, and I dreamt I was giving a baby girl a bath. Does it mean anything? Is this happening because of bad eye? Destiny or what?
We understand the difficulty you are undergoing. May Allah relieve you
of your difficulty soon, Ameen.
Marriage is something which is predestined Allah Ta’aala, our Creator,
Nourisher, Cherisher in his infinite wisdom and hikmah knows what is
good for us and what is bad. Being engaged twice and breaking it off
should not affect you. You should consider this point that perhaps that
person is not suitable or compatible with me, which will result in you
sitting with life-long misery and disaster. Allah says in the Quraan,
“Perhaps you dislike something but it is good for you, and perhaps you
like something but it is bad for you.” Similarly we human beings who are
controlled by emotions might feel that certain person is my suitable
partner but in fact he is not. We all know, for the first few times a
new couple meet, each of them puts up an extraordinary behaviour. The
reality of things is hidden behind this superficial conduct. We in our
short-sightedness might feel the certain person is suitable, but in fact
he is not. Therefore Allah out of His sheer mercy diverted you or saved
you from a greater misery. We suggest that instead of concentrating on
issues of the past, focus ahead in life. Become punctual on your five
daily Salaah, make Zikr of Allah daily, and recitation of the Quraan is
absolutely important. Observing hijab from strange men is Farz and
necessary. Therefore if the need be to exit your house do so with
complete hijab. Recite the verse 29 of Surah 23. Inshallah, Allah will
grant you a suitable partner.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.